a Non-Profit Organization - 199-195

Tuesday, 24 November 2015

I fall short

Áfter listening to a teaching this morning I realised how my heart has changed. Hardened. Slowly. Unnoticed...for me anyway.

I don't know exactly when it happened, I just know it did. I started living for myself; my comfort and my needs became my priority. If things did not go my way, if I was being ill treated, I would lash out and negativity would pour out of my mouth.

Knowing the dangers of  it all, my bad behaviour, the words I have spoken; I still continued. I gave heed to the whispers of the enemy and got sucked into a world where I stopped being the peacemaker. A difference-maker. Made myself comfortable on a fence, licked my wounds and threw myself an epic pity party. Just sooo tired of the difficulties and challenges in my life.

I hate being here. I hate being in this 'condition'...this state I am in. I know I am at fault. At some stage I have let my guard down and now I am facing the consequences. It feels like I have been mourning the death of someone, something for so long that I don't know how not to mourn.

So in the early hours of this morning, I decided (DECIDED) to get up... take my bed and be the difference maker - again, spread the Gospel, heal the sick, break bread and share food happily with others and freely praising the God of Abraham Isacc and Jacob, the God whom I love and adore with my whole heart.

I am just being reminded of the song... I have decided to follow Jesus, no turning back, though I may wonder, I still will follow. The world behind me, the cross before me...no turning back - no turning back.

I am convinced that there are many other women around the world that are feeling the very same way. Facing the same challenges ... and even more. Women who are desperate for a fresh touch of God. A miracle from heaven above. God reaching down and physically touching our faces and whisper in our ears..."It will all be ok My daughter, I have got your back I am still here..."

This prayer is especially for all those woman:

Our Father in Heaven show us Your mighty power today, heal our bodies, restore our hope, rejuvenate our minds and souls. Help us to forgive those who trespass against us. Deliver us from the evil one. Give us the strength to face this day, the courage to continue our faith walk. Bend our hearts Lord so we will want to worship You, because we really love You Abba Father. In Jesus Name I pray.

May all you followers of the Lord who are tired and weary be brave enough today to get up, pick up your mat and walk, be healed in Jesus Name. (Math 9.6) for the Son of Man has the authority on earth to forgive [all] our sins.


Wednesday, 18 November 2015


I'm the first one in line to die
When the cavalry comes
Yeah it feels like the great divide
Has already come
I'm wasting my way through days
Losing youth along the way

Oh if God is on my side
Who can be against me
There was a greatness I felt for a while
But somehow it changed
Some kind of blindness I used to protect me
From all of my stains
Yeah I wish this was vertigo
It just feels like I'm falling slow

Oh if God is on my side
Then who can be against me
Yeah in this wasteland where I'm livin'
There is a crack in the door filled with light
And it's all that I need to get by
Yeah in this wasteland where I'm livin'
There is a crack in the door filled with light
And it's all that I need to shine

All of these people I meet
It seems like they're fine
Yeah in some ways I hope that they're not
And their hearts are like mine
Yeah it's wrong when it seems like work
To belong all I feel is hurt
Oh if God is on my side
Who can be against me

Tuesday, 13 October 2015

Know the enemy

If u know the enemy and know yourself, u need not fear the result of a hundred battles.
If u know yourself but not not the enemy, for every victory gained, u will also suffer a defeat.
If u know neither the enemy nor yourself, u will succumb in every battle.

(Extract from The three heavens, John Hagee)

Thursday, 1 October 2015

Liefde uit n ander wereld

Vir die eerste keer in 45 jaar besef ek -miskien- 'n stukkie van die Here se onverstaanbare liefde vir ons, Sy kinders... Ek se miskien want ons verstaan immers net gedeeltelik.

My (toe) 2 weke oue kleinkind kry verkoue. Ek self kry op daardie stadium nie 'n verkoue afgeskud nie en voel baie goor - en bid in alle erns vir Sy genesing. Hy hoes so dat hy in die proses verstik en dan huil want hy kry nie asem nie. Terwyl ek bid, vra ek in groot erns vir die Here om sy siekte op my te plaas, ek sal dit dra, solank daardie klein lyfie net gesond kan word en beter kan asemhaal! Ek kon dit nie verdra om hom so te sien nie.

En in daardie oomblik, tydens my ernstige gebed, laat die Here my besef hoe HY oor ons voel... dat Hy ons net so jammer kry wanneer ons siek is, en swaarkry... soveel so dat Hy Sy Seun gestuur het om alles op Hom te vat, dit vir ons te dra...

Net soos wat dit my hart wou breek om my klein outjie so te sien suffer, so breek dit ons Vader se hart wanneer ons kortpad wil vat, moedswillige sondes doen, nie op Hom vertrou nie, ongelowig optree, kwaad spreek teen ander, hoogmoedig is ....want Hy weet ons gaan op die ou end suffer.. die gevolge dra. Net soos 'n goeie ouer wil Hy ons beskerm teen die kwaad en die seer...


Friday, 14 August 2015

My halleluiahs be multiplied

Your love is like radiant diamonds
Bursting inside us we cannot contain
Your love will surely come find us
Like blazing wild fires singing Your name

God of mercy sweet love of mine
I have surrendered to Your design
May this offering stretch across the skies
And these Halleluiahs be multiplied

crazy little thing called LOVE

Love recognises no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination full of hope....

Friday, 7 August 2015

i feel good

People may not remember exactly what you did, or what you said, but they will always remember how you made them feel.

Thursday, 16 July 2015

serve to lead

You will never be a leader
if you don't have followers...
You will never have followers
if you are not willing to serve...


Wednesday, 24 June 2015

Dr Jekyll, Mr Hyde

Very interesting lyrics of a song that caught my attention in the early hours of the morning, performed by a well known gospel artist; Jimmy Needham. Meditate on the lyrics for a while , maybe it will hit home.

"Jekyll & Hyde"
There is a lunatic in everyone I know
Some live it out,
Some just refuse to drink the potion, baby
But we're all monsters inside
Cause we act like Dr. Jekyll
But there ain't no hiding Mr. Hyde

We point the finger
At the fella down the road
"What kind of devil does a thing like that?" we joke
Oh baby, just give it time
Cause we act like Dr. Jekyll
But there ain't no hiding Mr. Hyde

Every last one of us
Are pretty much the same
We got ol' Adam's blood
Running through our veins
Oh baby, I ain't telling no lies

It's just some are caught red-handed
And some work up an alibi

Some will probably kill ya
And some just kill ya in their mind

Cause some live in a prison
And some live in a suit and a tie

We act like Dr. Jekyll
but there ain't no hiding Mr. Hyde

Friday, 19 June 2015

My sweet Hallelujah

This is just a prayer for those who need one
There's a little church I know in the valley
Where they sing a song so sweet to the Savior calling us to deeper

I'll meet you before the dew has left the fern leaves
We'll listen together as the bell rings from the church
As it summons us with a sound so sweet of our Savior calling us
Sweet, I just have to sing Hallelujah, sweet Hallelujah

There is none so fine a place to greet Him
To dance before the morning sun is to please Him
To dance a dance so gracefully, to praise The Man so dearly
Sweet, sweet I just have to dance Hallelujah, sweet Hallelujah
Hallelujah, sweet Hallelujah

Tuesday, 19 May 2015

Sin runs thru my veins

The lyrics from this song reminded me of myself, how easily my rebellious heart can go astray.
I often need to stand before God and ask Him to pull me up from the waters so I can breathe again.
Life can be so hard and cruel ~ may God's Holy Water always cover me.

Take me down to the river
Wash the dirt from my hands
I've been traveling so long
In this foreign land.

Please Father forgive me
For I’ve lost my way
Sin runs through my body
There is poison in my veins.

Take me down the river
I’m a broken man
Push me down the bottom
Wash me from within
Pull me up from the waters
So I can breathe again
Take me down to the river, Lord
Where it all began.

Should’ve known from the start, Lord
Couldn’t do it alone
I try; I try so hard, yeah
To make this place my home
So, come Redemption
Please set me free
Oh, Holly Water now
Come cover me.

The River ~ from Decyfer

Thursday, 7 May 2015

Conversation after restoration is sheer delight

 “And he kissed all his brothers and wept over them. Afterward his brothers talked with him.”
—Genesis 45:15

This is about Joseph, what his brothers had done to him. Their hostility toward him as a youngster had led them to sell him. And about 30 years later their relationship was restored.
 My favorite part of this story is what they did after their broken relationship had been restored. They talked. There was so much ground to cover, so much to say. They couldn’t wait to get re–acquainted. Conversation after restoration is sheer delight.

Which one of our relationships needs to be redone? Which one is covered with the rust of silence and bitterness? Picture what it might be like to confess your wrongdoing, forgive them for their part, then sit down over coffee in luxurious conversation.

Wouldn’t it be great if people would gaze at this healing, like I do when I see that turquoise pickup? “What a tremendous restoration,” they’d say.

Excerpted from the NIV Dad's Devotional Bible.

Wednesday, 22 April 2015

Re-learn the Love of God

I bless you to be people who are willing to re-learn the love of God and who are willing to step into what God has planned for you.

May you never be stuck in what you think is true. May you always be willing to re-learn the Love of God. To grow more into His liking. Into a deeper relationship with Him.

Lord please give me and those friends who are divinely connected to this blog, the courage to see things differently and the irresistible urge to respond to what we see You do.

We want to become more like You and see the world through Your eyes.

I Jesus Name I pray. Amen

Wednesday, 8 April 2015

Rou tyd is verby

Die graf is leeg.

Hoekom hou ek dan nog begrafnis?
Hoekom hou ek aan om te rou oor al my foute en verkeerd wat ek al bely het teenoor Jesus?

Hoekom gaan ek oor en oor terug graf toe?

Die graf is leeg.
Soms dink ek dat ons baie kere nie waarlik tot die besef al gekom het, dat Jesus vir al ons foute gesterf het nie.

Vir 12 jaar lank glo ek dat ek vir altyd aan die gevolge gaan dra van die verkeerde besluite wat ek 27 jaar terug en 20 jaar terug gemaak het. Dit terwyl ek glo die Here het my vir al my ander sondes vergewe.

Ek het Sondag 'n lightbulb moment gehad - tot die insig gekom, ek is waarlik vry en dat ek nie die gevolge langer hoef te dra nie.

Dit het my gebukkend deur die lewe laat gaan en my terug gehou van ander dinge waarvan ek vry wou kom maar bang was ek maak weer 'n verkeerde besluit. En dat ek aan 'n drie-dubbele-dosis gevolg gaan moet dra.

Ewe skielik voel ek lig.
Sy juk is sag.

Ek hoop al die blomme by die graf vrek wat ek so mooi vertroetel het.
Want ek gaan wragtig nie weer terug soontoe nie.


Friday, 23 January 2015

Evergreen Love

When your faith walk doesn't look like it use to before
and I cant seem to sweep you off of your feet
Will your mouth still remember the taste of  My love
when the guilt and the shame overwhelm you while you're asleep
will your eyes still smile from your cheeks
My darling child I will be loving you till the end of days
even though you have forsaken Me
maybe just by a touch of My hand
You will remember how we use to dance
My darling I have fallen in love with you every single day
I just want to tell you I AM
I am waiting for you to take Me into your loving arms
love Me under the lights of a 1000 stars
place your hands on My beating heart
thinking out loud...maybe you will find your way back to Me
right where you are
When your hair is all gone and you memory had fade
and no one even remembers your name
when your eyes cant seem to focus the same way
You need to know I will love you all the same
My love for you is ever-green
I could never stop loving you
no matter the wrongs or the shame
In My eyes you'll find no blame
My darling I still love you the same


Tuesday, 13 January 2015

When some you love, dies

When someone you love dies…

you never quite get over it

You just slowly learn how

to go on without them

But always keeping them

tucked safely in your heart.

Thursday, 8 January 2015

Happy New Year?

Happy New Year het vir my 8 dae terug baie inspirerend geklink - ek het gedink aan 'n nuwe jaar en dat ek dit met albei hande gaan aangryp. Ek gaan my mind apply, my gedagtes gevangene neem en dit werklik my eie maak. Ek gaan positief die jaar ingaan. Ek gaan dit maak werk. Ek gaan myself forseer om die jaar happy te maak. Ongeag wat ek regtig voel. Of deur werk. Dis deel van die lewe. Mens leer om content te wees.
Dit is immers 'n nuwe jaar. Nuwe begin. Nuwe seisoen.
Gisteraand ervaar ek 'n vreemde droom en iets wat ek selde doen, het ek die geestelike verduideliking van die droom gaan opsoek. Want die droom spook by my.
En daar verwoord google my hart, my innerlike worsteling wat ek self nie kon verwoord nie. Nog nooit die moed gehad het om dit neer te pen nie.
Hoe nou. Dis die moeilikste deel van alles. Hoe begin ek die verandering? Ek verwelkom verandering, dit maak my glad nie bang nie. Inteendeel. Maar hier in hierdie kruispad wat ek myself by vind, waar begin ek, waarheen draai ek? Links, regs?  Ek weet ek moet self hier uit kom, self my lot - miskien klink omstandighede na 'n beter woord - verander.
Miskien klink die google translate vir jou maklik. Vir my is dit op die oomblik soos 'n maze. Daar is baie meer emosies en dinge agter die verduideliking, die woorde. Baie trane, slapelose nagte. Ek weet wat ek eerder wil doen, my droom najaag. Dis net nie altyd so maklik en prakties of finansieel moontlik om by die volgende bushalte net dood eenvoudig net af te klim nie.
Ek glo die Here van die Heelal, die Een op wie ek vertrou, wat my Redder en Rigtingwyser is, het my die kruispad gewys. Hy ken my hart, my vrese, my concerns, my begeertes, my drome en ek weet dat Hy my hier iets uitwys -- ek moet die tree gee... ek moet in aksie ingaan, en ek weet net nie hoe nie.
          Perhaps you are finding it difficult to relax, to get out of the demands of the ‘traffic’ of your life – other people, demands made upon you, responsibility and commitments. This might also suggest you can’t find your place in life, and feel out of the flow of events – sort of mismatched timing.
         There is also a possibility it shows you feeling that you can’t get on with things you want to do.
Ek ken die regte 'christelike' antwoorde.
Vandag... is dit easier said than done. Vir my.

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