Tuesday 20 November 2018

your storms will pass


Decisions that defines us

“These are some of the decisions that define who we are as a community and how we choose to live our lives. These decisions are not destinations, but rather journeys…”
  • We have decided that teaching the gospel without demonstrating the gospel is not enough. Good preaching, good doctrine, and being good people are not enough.
  • We have decided that having a good church club is not enough, good fellowship is not enough, and just being a member of that club is not enough.
  • We have decided that having good Bible studies is good, but not good enough, that just making it to heaven is not our goal, and that knowing about God without truly knowing and experiencing God is meaningless.
  • We have decided that having good programs is not enough, that change without transformation is intolerable, and that staying where we are is not an option.
  • We have decided that gifting without character is futile.
  • We have decided that singing songs without worshiping is empty, and having meetings without God showing up is pointless.
  • We have decided that having faith without works is not enough and having works without love is not acceptable–that our function comes out of our relationship first with the Father and second with each other.
  • We have decided that reading about the book of Acts without living the book of Acts is unthinkable.
  • We have decided that confident faith is good and bold faith is better.
  • We have decided that hearing about the Holy Spirit without experiencing Him is silly, that believing in His presence without seeing it manifested in signs and wonders is hypocrisy, that believing in healing without seeing people healed is absurd, and that believing in deliverance without people being delivered is absolutely ridiculous.
  • We have decided to be Holy Spirit filled, Holy Spirit led, and Holy Spirit empowered–anything less doesn’t work for us.
  • We have decided to be the ones telling the stories of God’s power–not the ones hearing about them.
  • We have decided that living saved but not supernatural is living below our privilege and short of what Christ died for.
  • We have decided that we are a battle ship not a cruise ship, an army not an audience, Special Forces not spectators, missionaries not club members.
  • We have decided to value both pioneers and settlers: pioneers to expand our territory and settlers to build on those territories. But we are not squatters, people who take up space others have fought for without improving it.
  • We have decided to be infectious instead of innocuous, contagious instead of quarantined, deadly instead of benign.
  • We have decided to be radical lovers and outrageous givers.
  • We have decided that we are a mission station and not a museum.
  • We have decided that it is better to fail while reaching for the impossible that God has planned for us than to succeed settling for less.
  • We have decided that nothing short of His Kingdom coming and His will being done in our world as it is in heaven will satisfy.
  • We have decided that we will not be satisfied until our world cries out, “Those who have turned the world upside down have come here too” (Acts 17:6, NKJV).
by David Crone

Thursday 15 November 2018

Breek deur negatiewe emosies

Here, ek dank U dat ek nie met negatiewe emosies hoef saam te leef wat niks goeds vir my verstand, siel en liggaam doen nie. Wys my waar ek met hartseer, angs, vrees, eensaamheid, bitterheid, onvergifnis of enige ander negatiewe gesindheid saamleef. Verbreek enige beheer wat hierdie emosies oor my het. Vevang hul met die volheid van U Gees van liefde, vrede en blydskap. Ek bid dat U alles binne my sal verdring wat nie van U af is nie. U ken die geheime van my hart (Ps 44.22). Wys hule vir my as ek hulle nie self kan raak sien nie en vernuwe 'n opregte gees in my. Dankie dat U Gees alle seer in my hart genees.
In Jesus Naam.

Die Here is naby die gebrokenes, Hy help die moedeloses. Ps 34.19

the cost of sin


Friday 26 October 2018

Transforming pain

All healthy religion shows you what to do with your pain, with the absurd, the tragic, the nonsensical, the unjust and the undeserved—all of which eventually come into every lifetime. If only we could see these “wounds” as the way through, as Jesus did, then they would become sacred wounds rather than scars to deny, disguise, or project onto others. I am sorry to admit that I first see my wounds as an obstacle more than a gift. Healing is a long journey.

If we cannot find a way to make our wounds into sacred wounds, we invariably become cynical, negative, or bitter. This is the storyline of many of the greatest novels, myths, and stories of every culture. If we do not transform our pain, we will most assuredly transmit it—usually to those closest to us: our family, our neighbors, our co-workers, and, invariably, the most vulnerable, our children.

Scapegoating, exporting our unresolved hurt, is the most common storyline of human history. The Jesus Story is about radically transforming history and individuals so that we don’t just keep handing on the pain to the next generation. Unless we can find a meaning for human suffering, that God is somehow in it and can also use it for good, humanity is in major trouble. Because we will suffer.

We shouldn’t try to get rid of our own pain until we’ve learned what it has to teach. When we can hold our pain consciously and trustfully (and not project it elsewhere), we find ourselves in a very special liminal space. Here we are open to learning and breaking through to a much deeper level of faith and consciousness. Please trust me on this. We must all carry the cross of our own reality until God transforms us through it. These are the wounded healers of the world, and healers who have fully faced their wounds are the only ones who heal anyone else.

As an example of holding the pain, picture Mary standing at the foot of the cross or, as in Michelangelo’s Pietà cradling Jesus’ body. One would expect her to take her role wailing or protesting, but she doesn’t! We must reflect on this deeply. Mary is in complete solidarity with the mystery of life and death. It’s as if she is saying, “There’s something deeper happening here. How can I absorb it just as Jesus is absorbing it, instead of returning it in kind?” Consider the analogy of energy circuits: Most of us are relay stations; only a minority are transformers—people who actually change the electrical charge that passes through us.

Jesus on the cross and Mary standing beneath the cross are classic images of transformative spirituality. They do not return the hostility, hatred, accusations, or malice directed at them. They hold the suffering until it becomes resurrection! That’s the core mystery of Christianity. It takes our whole life to begin to comprehend this. It tends to be the wisdom of elders, not youngers.

Unfortunately, our natural instinct is to try to fix pain, to control it, or even, foolishly, to try to understand it. The ego insists on understanding. That’s why Jesus praises a certain quality even more than love, and he calls it faith. It is the ability to stand in liminal space, to stand on the threshold, to hold the contraries, until we are moved by grace to a much deeper level and a much larger frame, where our private pain is not center stage but a mystery shared with every act of bloodshed and every tear wept since the beginning of time. Our pain is not just our own.

Reference:
Adapted from Richard Rohr,
A Spring Within Us: A Book of Daily Meditations (CAC Publishing: 2016), 199, 120-121.

Friday 6 July 2018

faith vs risk


a God-Filled Life

Your job is to speak out on the things that make for solid doctrine....Guide older women into lives of reverence so they end up as neither gossips nor drunks, but models of goodness. By looking at them, the younger women will know how to love their husbands and children, be virtuous and pure, keep a good house, be good wives. We don’t want anyone looking down on God’s Message because of their behavior. Also, guide the young men to live disciplined lives.
But mostly, show them all this by doing it yourself, incorruptible in your teaching, your words solid and sane. Then anyone who is dead set against us, when he finds nothing weird or misguided, might eventually come around.
~ Titus 2:5-8
 
 
 

 

the aroma of Jesus

“Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless.”

May the aroma of Jesus permeate our words and actions drawing others to God (2 Corinthians 2:14).

Wednesday 27 June 2018

enduring pressures

Exodus 18:23

'If you follow this advice, and if God commands you to do so, then you will be able to endure the pressures...'

- It is always good to get advice and counsel from others before proceeding.
- But after all the advice we need to hear from God and follow His instructions.
- When we do what He tells us to do, we can handle anything that comes our way.
- Let us endeavour to hear His voice on all matters and obey His leading in our lives.

PRAYER: Lord, thank You that I don't have to walk this road alone and in my own wisdom. I pray that You will come and lead and guide me so that I can walk in Your ways and avoid unnecessary pressures. Amen.

Pastor Andrew Roebert
ALIVE TO GOD

Friday 22 June 2018

Tell Your Heart To Beat Again

You're shattered like you've never been before
The life you knew
In a thousand pieces on the floor
And words fall short in times like these
When this world drives you to your knees
You think you're never gonna get back
To the you that used to be

Beginning - Just let that word wash over you
It's alright now
Love's healing hands have pulled you through
So get back up, take step one
Leave the darkness, feel the sun
Cause your story's far from over
And your journey's just begun

Tell your heart to beat again
Close your eyes and breathe it in
Let the shadows fall away
Step into the light of grace
Yesterday's a closing door
You don't live there anymore
Say goodbye to where you've been
And tell your heart to beat again

Let every heartbreak and every scar
Be a picture that reminds you
Who has carried you this far
'Cause love sees farther than you ever could
In this moment heaven's working
Everything for your good

Tell your heart to beat again
Close your eyes and breathe it in
Let the shadows fall away
Step into the light of grace
Yesterday's a closing door
You don't live there anymore
Say goodbye to where you've been
And tell your heart to beat again
Your heart to beat again
Beat again

Oh, so tell your heart to beat again


~ by Danny Gokey

Thursday 14 June 2018

take this HOPE seriously


Friends don’t you let anyone anything cheat you of this hope; it is your spiritual lifeline. You have barely begun to take hold of it. Do not let anything diminish the beauty, power and significance of this hope above all hopes. Jesus lived the way He did in this world, for this world, because His hope was set beyond this world; that is the secret of his life. He never lost sight of where He was headed – that exhilarating finish in and with God – He could put up with anything along the way; cross, shame, whatever. And now He’s there…I the place of honor, right alongside with God.

Oh yes, we need to make this practical. we need to take this hope so seriously we sell everything to buy this field. We must make this utterly real and tangible so that over time our souls are truly anchored by it. Of all the things we could do that would be most practical, that has the most staggering implications.

Friends it is as simple as this; if you do not give your heart over to the renewal of all things, you will take your kingdom heart to something in this world. You will do compulsive things, like collecting way too many shoes. You will be tempted into far darker things. It is inevitable.

But if you will begin to choose the Kingdom – if you consciously and deliberately give our heart to the renewal of all things, you will notice the effects immediately …So much pressure will be lifted off your current hopes; when things don’t go well, you will find yourself less angry, less dejected. As your heart and soul become anchored in the Renewal, you will find yourself freer to risk, especially love. You can love people, because God will do everything in His power to make sure you will not lose them, the good-byes of His children are only momentary. You can love beautiful places and cultures and things like wilderness because even thou it looks like they may be vanishing, they will be restored.
 
For nothings is lost. He renews all things.

Faith is something that looks backward – we remember the ways God has come through for His people, and for us, and our belief is strengthened that He will come through again. Love is exercised in the present moment; we love in the ‘now’. Hope is unique; hope looks forward, anticipating the good that is coming. Hope reaches into the future to take hold of something we do not yet have, may not even see. Strong hope seizes the future that is not yet; it is the confident expectation of goodness coming to us.
 

Jesus Christ gave His life to give each of us a hope above and beyond all former hopes. Every action and teaching of His brilliant lifer were intentionally directed at unveiling this hope to us.

                  ‘Truly tell you, at the renewal of all things, when the Son of Man sits on His glorious throne…everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or wife or children or fields for my sake will receive a hundred times as much and will inherit eternal life’.

A the renewal of all things?! God’s intention for us is the renewal of all things?  This is what the Son of God said; that is how He plainly described it. I can hardly speak. Really? The greek word used here for renewal is palingenia – which is derived from two root words; paling, meaning again and genesia, meaning beginning, which of course hearkens back to Genesis. Genesis again. Eden restored.

The re-creation of the world. When the world is made new A promise so breath taking so shocking and heartbreakingly beautiful I’m stunned that so many have missed it. Oh yes, we’ve heard quite a bit about ‘heaven’. But Jesus is clearly not talking about heaven here – He is talking about the re-creation of all things, including the earth we love.                                  

I would say that when a casual hope is deferred, we are disappointed but no more. We are downcast for a moment or a day. When a precious hope is dashed, it can really break your heart. You may not recover for a week or five years, depending on the loss and the other resources of your life. “Hope deferred makes the heart sick” (Proverbs 13:12). Doesn’t it, though? But when an ultimate hope goes unanswered, the result is devastation from which you will never recover.

Maybe another barometer would look like this: When our casual hopes are suddenly in question, they elicit worry, but nothing more. Precious hopes in question can usher in fear and anxiety. Ultimate hopes that suddenly seem uncertain shake the soul to its core. And I will be forthright with you—very few things deserve the place in your heart made for ultimate hope.

Here is my point: the renewal of all things is meant to be your first hope in the way that God is your First Love. If it isn’t the answer to your wildest dreams, if you aren’t ready at this very moment to sell everything and buy this field, then you have placed your hopes somewhere else.

Nearly everyone has.

We cannot move forward in our search for the palingenesia until we face the truth honestly. Otherwise, this will just be a curiosity; interesting, but not the rescue our hearts so desperately need. We fight this hope. We hear about the Renewal and think to ourselves, Well, isn’t that nice; I’d never heard it put that way, and go right on with our desperate search for the kingdom now.

You have a heart for the kingdom, for the Great Restoration. I said it might be the most important thing to know about yourself; it is a lens by which you can understand your longings, fears, addictions, anger—not to mention the actions of the human race. Where is your kingdom heart these days? Are you embarrassed by it? What are you presently doing with it? What are you fantasizing about? Where we take our fantasies is a helpful way to know what we are doing with our kingdom heart.

~John Eldridge

Tuesday 12 June 2018

I'm a full-blooded woman

I am a woman. I push doors that clearly say pull. I laugh harder when I try to explain why I’m laughing. I walk into a room and forget why I was there. I count on my fingers in math. I hide the pain from my loved ones and wish the burden of my marriage was much lighter. I say it is a long story when it’s really not. I cry a lot more than you think I do. I take sleeping tablets to get through the long nights. I care about people who don’t care about me and try to hide that I care so much. I try to do things before the microwave beeps. I listen to you even when you don’t listen to me. I always try to keep the peace in my home…even if I started the war.  I miss my loved ones who is already in heaven more than I care to share. I miss my family who don't seems to miss me. I am proud of my daughters and of the women they have become. I absolutely love being a granny and adore my baby's baby. I miss my friends and love spending time with them even if I don’t see them as often as used to. I love being a woman and love being a wife And most of all... I love being the daughter of the Most High King.

Friday 8 June 2018

oh how i love You Jesus


an appropriate kind of worship

I encourage you to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, dedicated to God and pleasing to Him. THIS kind of WORSHIP is appropriate for you...

Don't  become like the people of this world...instead, change the way you think...THEN you will be able to determine what God really wants...

...Christ makes us one body and individuals who are connected to each other. God in His kindness gave each of us different gifts;
If your gift is speaking God's word, make sure what you say agrees with the Christian faith;
If your gift is serving then devote yourself to serving;
If it is teaching, devote yourself to teaching;
If it is encouraging others devote yourself to giving encouragement;
If it is sharing be generous;
If it is leadership, lead enthusiastically;
If it is helping people in need, help them cheerfully;

Love sincerely. Hate evil. Hold on to what is good...be hospitable...bless those who persecute you..

~Rom 12
 

Monday 4 June 2018

teach me Father to look like You

Don’t fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It’s wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.

~Philippians 4:6-7


Now I urge you, brothers, to closely watch those who cause divisions and offenses, contrary to the teaching which you have learned, and avoid them.  For such people do not serve our Lord Jesus Christ, but their own appetites, and through smooth talk and flattery they deceive the hearts of the unsuspecting.
 
~ Romans 16:17-18
 
 
...examine my heart and my mind;
for I have always been mindful of your unfailing love
and have lived in faith [trust, support] on your faithfulness.
I do not sit with the deceitful [untrustworthy, lying, falsehearted]
nor do I associate with hypocrites
 
~ Psalm 16:17-18


Friday 1 June 2018

i will wait


so kom ek om

Die dorheid van die rivier-bank se krake maak my deurmekaar

Dis droog. Winterdroog.

Die leilikheid daarvan laat my wegkyk

Is dit hoe ek lyk – krakerig?

Find me in the river…

my siel ontbloot – niks daarvan is mooi nie

my make-up smeer die seer van die lewe nie toe nie

teleurstellings het my onderlaag geword

en verwerping le soos mascara strepe oor my wange

with my soul laid bare

wanneer het die strome lewende-water dan ophou vloei?

Ek probeer die seer verwoord

Verduidelik

Verstaan

Daar is niks. Geen antwoorde val in my verdorde gees in nie

net ‘n doodse stilte wat my gebeendere laat krom trek

In the valley of the shadow of death

Ek moet profeteer – oor die dooie bene

Opstaan en die stof afskud

waar begin ek

wat se ek as ek self nie eers aan more wil dink nie

My woorde echo in my verhemelte vas

dit kom nie uit nie

Waar sal my hulp vandaan kom!

I didn't count on suffering but if the blessing's in the valley ~ then in the river I will wait


 

overwhelmed by circumstances in my life

When we as Christians sinks under the weight of our sins and our sense of guilt for them, we need to follow David’s example, and cry out to God to “Restore unto me the joy of your salvation”
 
It happens to Christians of all ages, at all phases of their lives, and at all stages of maturity in their faith.

Sometimes it’s our own fault and sometimes it is caused by circumstances.
It happens to the Christian, after the emotional high of salvation has passed, or when the reality of living starts to weigh them down.
It happens to the Christian who is overwhelmed by circumstances in their life.
It happens to the Christian who just gets tired and worn out, when their life become stale and rote. Wherever you are in life and whatever the cause, the most important thing to realize is this is common, it happens to everyone, and sooner or later it will happen to you.

It happened to me. I was overwhelmed by circumstances in my life.
The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure. (1 Corinthians 10:13)

Get out of yourself and serve others.
“One is the loneliest number that you’ll ever do.” The Christian life is not a solitary sedentary still-life. The Christian life is a living breathing working real life.
Get up and serve God.
Do something worthwhile.
Help others. It will be contagious and will restore the joy of your salvation.

Decide to be joyful - choosing not to be joyful has its own consequences
Because you didn’t serve God, your God, out of the joy and goodness of your heart in the great abundance, you’ll have to serve your enemies whom God will send against you. You will therefore serve your enemies whom the Lord sends against you, in hunger and in thirst, in nakedness and in lack of all things; and He will put an iron yoke [of slavery] on your neck until He has destroyed you. (Deut 48.47) 

Tuesday 29 May 2018

vat my terug


My hart hunker na die Here
maar ek doen eintlik niks daaraan nie
alles het soveel moeite geword
Tog kan ek vanaand nie die verlange stil nie
ek dink aan die tyd wat ek en die Here so lekker gedans en gelag het
en begeer het om tog net lang hare te he sodat ek ook die Here se voete daarmee kan afvee
ek wou so graag dien en ‘n voorloper wees
ek het soveel planne gehad, drome
Nou doen ek net mooi niks – ek sit net
amper asof ek die verantwoordelik op die Here afskuif
asof ek wil he Hy moet moeite doen met my
My hart is leeg en tog verstom die hoeveelheid trane wat uit my oe uit bly rol, elke keer as ek myself toelaat dat om te dink
aan gister
Ek wil nie meer dink nie
nie aan die kinders wat die pad gevat het
en hul eie nes gaan skrop het in ‘n ver vreemde land nie
ook nie aan al die lee beloftes van 'n huweliks-maat wat glad nie meer skroom om verwoesting te saai met sy mond nie
 
Wat help dit tog om te bid Here
te glo dat alles ten goede sal uitwerk
terwyl dit voel asof niks meer sin of saak maak nie
My krummelgebede dra nie krag nie
daar is niks meer wat ek kan vra wat ek al 100 keer gevra het nie
ek kan aan niks meer dink om voor te bid nie
 
Die dorheid van die rivier-bank se krake maak my deurmekaar
wanneer het die strome lewende-water dan ophou vloei?
Vat my terug na die plek waar net U saakgemaak het Here
Vat my terug…

Tuesday 22 May 2018

pornografie is ‘n simptoom van emosionele diskonneksie

Fastfood is ‘n simptoom van ons gejaagde lewe, so is porn ‘n simptoom van emosionele diskonneksie.
 
Die emosionele diskonneksie begin nie met die huwelik nie, dit begin met jouself. Die meeste mans wie ek sien wat verslaaf is aan pornografie, gebruik porn om ‘n emosionele vraag te beantwoord.
 
Is ek goed genoeg?
Is ek begeerbaar genoeg?
Is daar geluk daar buite vir my?
 
Nou dat ek daaraan dink, is dit seker dieselfde redes hoekom so baie vrouens dit geniet om Mills and Boons te lees. Dit antwoord die vraag “Hoe kon my lewe anderste gewees het?”
 
Hierdie is ‘n normale vraag en ons almal wonder soms of dinge anderste sou uitgedraai het vir ons. Maar totdat ons nie ‘n plek van innerlike vrede met ons hier en nou kan vind nie, sal daar altyd ‘n emosionele vraag wees wat fastfood en pornografie vir ons sal beantwoord.
 
Skryf in by ons Gesonde Seks Mentorskap program waar ons 24 verskillende aanlyn kursusse het wat jou gaan kan leer hoe om jou seksualiteit beter te verstaan en gesonder te bestuur in jou huwelik.
 
 
~ deur Timothy Kieswetter

Monday 14 May 2018

Facing a crisis


How to Draw Together During Tough Times
The phone rang in the middle of the night. My husband, Gene, turned on a bedside lamp and lifted the receiver. I saw a look of shock and horror come over his face. The news he repeated was unthinkable. Our only child, Jason, a graduate of the U.S. Naval Academy, had been arrested for the murder of his wife’s first husband. I tried to get out of bed, but my legs wouldn’t hold my weight. Nausea swept over me.

For more than two years I battled feelings of depression, anxiety and shame as Gene and I went through seven postponements of Jason’s trial before he was convicted of first-degree murder and sentenced to life in prison without the possibility of parole.

Not many of you will experience what my husband and I have; however, unforeseen pressures hit all marriages at unexpected times, creating unwelcome interruptions: A child is born with a severe disability. An accident or illness permanently impairs the health of your spouse. Your teenager becomes addicted to drugs or alcohol. Job loss rocks your financial foundation. An aging parent moves into your home. Your son is diagnosed with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. You long for a child but experience another miscarriage. The list is unending.

Tough times trigger unanticipated emotions — tempers flare, the blame-game starts, anxiety is heightened — or suffering in silence keeps us pent up and unreachable. When my son was arrested, I experienced false shame, thinking if I had been a better parent, he never would have made such a horrible choice.

When my friends James and Heather dealt with the growing tensions of raising a severely autistic daughter, they often blew up at each other, allowing little irritations to become impassible obstacles. The day they walked into their family room and discovered that Joanna had smeared her feces on the wall, they started shouting, blaming each other for not figuring out how to maintain order and civility in their own home.

Why do some marriages disintegrate when life pulls them apart? Is it possible to build a stronger marriage when you face a challenge that doesn’t go away just because you prayed together and asked God to help? How do other couples develop a stronger bond in the face of insurmountable pressures?
Here’s how Gene and I — and countless other couples — have kept our marriages strong under adversity.

Develop a “we’re in this together” attitude.

Gene and I quickly discovered that making it through our son’s arrest, trial and conviction was overwhelming when we withdrew and suffered in our own private pain. We learned that we needed to honestly tell each other when we were having a bad day or when we felt unable to make even simple decisions because our minds were too focused on the bigger issues we were facing. By talking about our feelings, we developed open communication and often realized that on a day when one of us felt weak and incapable of making decisions, the other would step up and take care of the details of managing life.
During the initial stages of our challenge, an important part of our growth as a couple was to go on walks together, praying out loud as we walked side by side. One of us would pray, “God, we are afraid for our son. We fear for his safety. We don’t know where the money for his defense attorney will come from.” The other would then pray, “Lord, You are good and You are trustworthy. We know nothing can touch us without Your permission, but our hearts agonize — for the family of the deceased and for our son. Right now we ask, 'Why did You allow this to happen?' " Making a habit of praying together and asking God our honest questions made our marriage stronger.

Say yes to guilt-free timeouts.

James and Heather discovered that they couldn’t allow their challenges with Joanna to place a wedge between them. They have three other children who desire their love and care, too. They also needed time with each other apart from the ongoing challenges of caring for a child with a severe disability. In the past they had managed everything themselves and lived in a constant state of exhaustion. Heather says, “Then I researched all of the educational and social options for Joanna that would fit our budget — and she’s now in programs part of every day. She’s happier, and we’re calmer.”
James and Heather also started accepting the help of a relative who volunteered to provide child care one night a week. They spent the evenings dining out or seeing a movie without worrying about the kids. They came home refreshed and were more able to face the day-to-day stress.

Make the next right choice.

While Gene and I were living in the middle of the first shock wave over Jason’s arrest, our minds were flooded with questions brought on by fear:
  • How can we protect Jason from danger while he’s in a crowded jail with violent offenders?
  • How can we pay for his defense?
  • How can we face the people in our community when the news hits the press?
  • How will we make a living in full-time ministry if our credibility is destroyed because people think we were bad parents due to our son’s devastating choice?
  • How can we give our other three children the attention and nurturing they need when Joanna takes so much of our time?
  • How will we process our emotions when relatives and friends make us feel as if they wish Joanna weren’t with us during family reunions and social activities?
  • Will our marriage make it through the challenges of having an autistic child?
  • Who will care for Joanna and be her advocate when we are elderly or gone?
When you’re in the middle of tough times, every decision feels overwhelming. It’s easy to believe that, compared with other families, you’ll never have a normal marriage or a typical family situation. The Enemy reminds you that your family is annoyingly different and no one really cares about accommodating your unique situation. It’s tempting to look at a never-ending future with a sense of hopelessness.
Gene and I discovered that facing our son’s life sentence meant that our lives would never return to what they had been before his arrest. Life had changed, and if we focused on the distant future we were discouraged. We began to adjust by asking, “What is the next decision we need to make?” Sometimes they were small choices, such as making a grocery list or a dental appointment. Then came a harder decision: How transparent should we be about our journey? We could choose to withdraw from society and never talk about what happened, or we could be open — first with family members and friends, and eventually, with larger groups of people — and share the details of what transpired and the lessons God was teaching us.

Heather and James’ “next right choice” was to educate the people in their church about ministering to children with special needs. More people signed up for the class than they expected. Two members of the group came to their home, got to know Joanna and became part of a team of people who cared for her needs — and also other kids with special needs — during church-related functions. As a result of Heather and James’ efforts, more families with special-needs children began attending their church, and ministry was multiplied.

When you don’t know what to do during tough times, look around. Ask yourself questions like these: What is the next logical step we should take? Is there a decision that needs to be made? Is there a practical job that needs to be done? Ask God for wisdom to know the differences between the urgent, the important and the optional steps you need to take.

Serve others together.

For a while my own grief over Jason’s incarceration kept me self-focused. My thoughts swirled around fear of the future. I stressed over trying to make sure Jason was safe. Eventually an important change took place. To visit Jason, Gene and I had to stand in line with other families who were also waiting to go through prison security. We met lonely wives and children who had been separated from their husbands and fathers. We met inmates who needed Bible studies and reading material. We noticed the visitation room had few coloring books, crayons and games that children could use to interact with their father during visits.

Seeing these needs, Gene and I launched the nonprofit organization Speak Up for Hope and began collecting donations for supplies for families of inmates. Others collected games for the prison-visitation rooms or contributed toward Bible study books.

Our giving became creative and spontaneous. One day while doing the laundry, I noticed Gene’s pile of clothes was shorter that usual. I asked him what was happening to his T-shirts. He smiled and said, “You’ll find out soon enough.”

The following weekend we stood in line at the prison, waiting to get through security to visit Jason. This day it was taking more than two hours to get to the front of the line, and dozens of us waited in the Florida heat to see our loved ones. Suddenly the woman at the front of the line burst into sobs. She had been denied entry. I instantly knew why. A recently added guideline was in place for the visitation area, and newcomers were unaware that female visitors had a stricter dress code. In addition to the usual no bra straps showing, no spandex, and nothing see-through, now tank tops and other shoulder-revealing clothes were not allowed — all shirts had to have sleeves. The sobbing woman was wearing a white button-up blouse, her arms completely uncovered.

At that point I realized Gene was no longer standing next to me. He had gone to our car and was returning, carrying a black T-shirt. He walked up to the woman in distress and said, “Here, put this on and go to the front of the line. It’s my gift to you today. Have a wonderful visit with your family.”
He returned to our spot in the line. I said, “So that’s what’s been happening to your tees!”
He smiled, looked down, and said, “It’s my ministry.”

Ever since that day, Gene and I have been passing out black T-shirts to visitors who need them to pass inspection. The more we continue to serve others together, the less we focus on our own loss. As we invest in the lives of others, God doubles our joy.
And remember my friends Heather and James? She began writing a monthly blog about lessons they have learned and the joys they have experienced as a result of parenting an autistic child. God multiplied the impact of their story as other parents of autistic children reached out to them.
Is it possible to build a strong marriage during tough times? Yes, but you have to stay strong with God’s help. Develop a “we’re in this together” attitude, indulge in guilt-free time away from whatever is placing stress on your marriage, make the next right choice and serve others together. Above all, hold on to love. It “bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things” (1 Corinthians 13:7).

Carol Kent is the author of When I Lay My Isaac Down: Unshakable Faith in Unthinkable Circumstances. Her most recent book is a devotional, He Holds My Hand.
 
https://www.focusonthefamily.com/marriage/facing-crisis/how-to-draw-together-during-tough-times?utm_campaign=Be+the+Parent+You+Want+to+Be+%2B+%E2%80%98Life+of+the+Party%E2%80%99&utm_medium=email&utm_source=nl_focusenews
 

Friday 11 May 2018

Termes en kondisies

Die huwelik is ‘n verbond tussen man en vrou waar die Here die termes opstel en waarin albei huweliksmaats veilig is, mits beide huweliksmaats Sy termes nakom.

Thursday 29 March 2018

...good for nothing


Unsavoury salt lacks the very essence of its existence.
#If you are not the salt in your environment people have to reason to want to change#

..then what does it say about you. are you living your purpose. are you trying to bring people to Christ or are you too busy 2 fit it...

#When we abandon our purpose, we are good for nothing#

Luke 14.34-35
Salt is excellent, but if the salt goes flat, it’s useless, good for nothing. He who has ears to hear, let him hear.

 

only then...

 






Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. THEN you will be able to test and approve what God's will is -- His good, pleasing and perfect will
Rom 12.2
 

Because He lives

Prentresultaat vir becaue of my sins

Who is Jesus 2 you...

 

Tuesday 20 March 2018

Guard your heart with vigilance


Be the doorkeeper of your heart and let no thoughts in without questioning it..
Question each and every thought and say to them;
Are you one of ours or are you one from the enemy?
If it belongs to the house it will give you peace.
If it comes from the enemy,
it will confuse you through anger and arose you through a desire

geskryf deur Evagrius Ponticus  


 

Friday 16 March 2018

let GO of the past

Abba Father

I am so grateful for the many bullets You have helped me dodge. And thank You that You have so often blessed me with gifts and kindness through people and events that have been unexpected. Thank You that You love me as I am and that You alone can redeem my past and make it beautiful. Jesus I give You my mistakes and my regrets right now. And I celebrate the progress I have made. I can see that I am different to a year ago and 10 years ago! Yay Holy Spirit and me!  Thank You that the only things following me are Your goodness and mercies and they will keep hunting me down till I die! I love You. Amen

Prayer borrowed from Son-Flower Seeds

Friday 9 March 2018

Net gebed kan my huwelik red

Wanneer 'n vrou vir haar huwelik bid, is 'n post wat ek baie lank terug gepost het. En glad nie vreemd is dit 'n artikel wat die meeste gelees word en die meeste kommentaar uitlok.

En ek besef keer op keer dat die grootste gedeelte van die mensdom se huwelik 'n challenge is. Dit maak dit vir my troosbaar. Makliker, omdat ek weet dis nie net ek wat sukkel nie, ek is nie alleen in hierdie stryd nie.

Ek het al baie gewonder of dit ooit gaan oorwaai. Of daar 'n tyd gaan kom wat ek en my man van mekaar weer gaan hou, en of ons ooit sal kan se ons het deur 'n maand gegaan sonder om te baklei.

In elke kommentaar sien ek weereens dat 'opposites attract' en dat vroue van regoor die wereld voel soos ek en jy.

En elke keer word ek herinner dat ons huwelike vir die vyand 'n groot stryd is. Hy haat huwelike - dit moet so wees want hy val almal se huwelike aan. As hy net die man en die vrou uitmekaar uit kan dryf tuimel 'n hele kaartehuis inmekaar! Dis soos die spreekwoord se '2 vliee met een klap'. Onder andere word kinders geroof van ouers wat 'n grooooot impak op alles het. Hul maak weer self eendag 'n stukkende generasie groot. Ons sit met verwerpte mense, sommiges pleeg moord of selfmoord. Ons begin onsself te pynig en maak sy werk minder! Ons tree uit lyn uit, maak ons kinders sagter en sonder discipline groot oor ons skuldgevoelens het, gaan in verkeerde verhoudings, onttrek van die samelewing en ons kerk, vriende verstoot jou...

Omdat ek self al opgegee het en geskei het, kan ek werklik se: moenie moed opgee nie. Neem jou kruis op. Moenie die vyand sy sin gee nie. Egskeiding is genuine nie die moeite werd nie.
 
Daarom post ek die weer ~ keep on keeping on...
Daar was ‘n tyd in my lewe wat ek nie meer met my man getroud wou wees, onder een dak met hom wou bly nie, en nie meer kans gesien het vir sy woede, venynigde woorde, spitefullgeit, drankmisbruik, ontrouheid ens nie.

Ek was desperaat in my omstandighede en het my tot die Here gewend, my hart onvoorwaardelik vir Hom gegee en gevra om in te gryp. En Hy het. Maar in die tyd het die Here my gewys hoe om ‘oor’ te begin want ek het gou die blaam na my man gewend ‘want hy was immers die onregverdige een, die een wat ons nie mooi behandel het nie, ander se part eerder gevat het’,.. ens.

Ek moes leer dat ek net soveel skuld het soos hy. Ek was verbitterd, opvlieënd, geirriteerd, onvergenoegd, (met rede!!), het hom nie ge-eer as die hoof van die huis nie, het hom nie gerespekteer nie, (want hy het dit nie verdien nie en was nie in lyn nie!  ~ het ek geglo).

Ek het besef dat ek my eie onversoenlikheid teenoor my man moes belei. My verbittering, my woede, my hardheid van hart, my emosionele ontrekking van hom af... want in die Here se oë is daar nie ‘n groot en klein sonde nie. Ek moes leer dat daar geen verskil is of ek my man vloek en of hy ontrou is nie. Die een is nie groter of kleiner as die ander nie. Of jy moord pleeg of skinder – daar is geen verskil nie. Sonde is sonde.

Ek moes die sonde in my hart belei vir die Here om my gebede te verhoor. Ek mos glo dat die deel van ons verhouding wat deur pyn, afsydigheid en selfsug weggevreet is, herstel kan word. Ek moes vertrou dat enigiets wat oor my toegesak het, soos misbruik, ontrouheid, enigiets – herstel kon word. Ek moes besluit het dat alles wat besig was om my man te verteer, soos werksverslawing, alkolisme, ens vernietig kan word. Ek moes vertrou dat die Here ons kon verlos van alles.

Ek het geleer dat als begin by gebed.  Die Here het my deur boeke en Sy woord gewys om werklik vir Sy seun, my man, te bid; en in die proses sou Hy my huwelik vernuwe (wat morsdood was) en Sy seën op ons albei uitstort. Op die stadium was ek nie lus om met my huwelik aan te gaan nie, maar nogtans het ek begin bid.

My man was vasgevang in ‘n web van sy verlede en hy moes vrygemaak word daarvan. Die Here het my geleer om vir man te begin bid. En al het ek geglo ek het eerder gebed nodig, was ek te desperaat vir verandering dat ek besluit het om dit wel te doen.

Geleidelik het verandering in ons albei begin kom. Ek het agtergekom hoe meer ek bid, hoe meer vorm liefde in my hart ~ vir die Here en vir my man – en hoe meer ek liefde gevoel het hoe meer het ek begin bid. Dit was weird. Wonderlik weird.

Wanneer my man kwaad raak het ek gebid in plaas van negatief reageer. Wanneer my man nie huis toe kom nie, het ek vir hom gebid ~ al wou ek eerder hé ‘n weerligstraal moes my man tref!

Daar was ‘n tyd in my lewe wat ek nie meer met my man getroud wou wees, onder een dak met hom wou bly nie, en nie meer kans gesien het vir sy woede, venynigde woorde, spitefullgeit, drankmisbruik, ontrouheid ens nie.

Ek was desperaat in my omstandighede en het my tot die Here gewend, my hart onvoorwaardelik vir Hom gegee en gevra om in te gryp. En Hy het. Maar in die tyd het die Here my gewys hoe om ‘oor’ te begin want ek het gou die blaam na my man gewend ‘want hy was immers die onregverdige een, die een wat ons nie mooi behandel het nie, ander se part eerder gevat het’,.. ens.

Ek moes leer dat ek net soveel skuld het soos hy. Ek was verbitterd, opvlieënd, geirriteerd, onvergenoegd, (met rede!!), het hom nie ge-eer as die hoof van die huis nie, het hom nie gerespekteer nie, (want hy het dit nie verdien nie en was nie in lyn nie!  ~ het ek geglo).

Ek het besef dat ek my eie onversoenlikheid teenoor my man moes belei. My verbittering, my woede, my hardheid van hart, my emosionele ontrekking van hom af... want in die Here se oë is daar nie ‘n groot en klein sonde nie. Ek moes leer dat daar geen verskil is of ek my man vloek en of hy ontrou is nie. Die een is nie groter of kleiner as die ander nie. Of jy moord pleeg of skinder – daar is geen verskil nie. Sonde is sonde.

Ek moes die sonde in my hart belei vir die Here om my gebede te verhoor. Ek mos glo dat die deel van ons verhouding wat deur pyn, afsydigheid en selfsug weggevreet is, herstel kan word. Ek moes vertrou dat enigiets wat oor my toegesak het, soos misbruik, ontrouheid, enigiets – herstel kon word. Ek moes besluit het dat alles wat besig was om my man te verteer, soos werksverslawing, alkolisme, ens vernietig kan word. Ek moes vertrou dat die Here ons kon verlos van alles.
 
Ek het geleer dat als begin by gebed.  Die Here het my deur boeke en Sy woord gewys om werklik vir Sy seun, my man, te bid; en in die proses sou Hy my huwelik vernuwe (wat morsdood was) en Sy seën op ons albei uitstort. Op die stadium was ek nie lus om met my huwelik aan te gaan nie, maar nogtans het ek begin bid.

My man was vasgevang in ‘n web van sy verlede en hy moes vrygemaak word daarvan. Die Here het my geleer om vir man te begin bid. En al het ek geglo ek het eerder gebed nodig, was ek te desperaat vir verandering dat ek besluit het om dit wel te doen.

Geleidelik het verandering in ons albei begin kom. Ek het agtergekom hoe meer ek bid, hoe meer vorm liefde in my hart ~ vir die Here en vir my man – en hoe meer ek liefde gevoel het hoe meer het ek begin bid. Dit was weird. Wonderlik weird.

Wanneer my man kwaad raak het ek gebid in plaas van negatief reageer. Wanneer my man nie huis toe kom nie, het ek vir hom gebid ~ al wou ek eerder hé ‘n weerligstraal moes my man tref!