God I am so ashamed of the burning desires in my heart - my flesh aches for the fulfillment of it. I have fallen so hard, so fast!
Am I a disgrace to You Father?
Why do I long for more, for true happiness? Is there such a thing as true happiness Jesus?
Is it so wrong to crave that, to desire more, to long for something - something I am even ashamed to name, sometimes?
Father I cannot do this anymore - I have been true to You, for many a year - but this I can do no more.
Let this yearning in me subsides...