Thursday, 26 July 2012

You are more

There's a girl in the corner
with tear stains on her eyes
from the places she's wandered
and the shame she can't hide

She says, "How did I get there?
I'm not who I once was
and I'm crippled by the fear
that I've fallen too far to love"

But don't you know who you are,
what's been done for you?
Yeah, don't you know who you are?

You are more than the choices that you've made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You've been remade

Well she tries to believe it
that she's been given new life
but she can't shake the feeling
that it's not true tonight

She knows all the answers
and she's rehearsed all the lines
and so she'll try do to better
but then she's too weak to try

But don't you know who you are?

You are more than the choices that you've made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You've been remade

'Cause this is not about what you've done
but what's been done for you
This not about where you've been,
but where your brokenness brings you to

This is not about what you built,
but what I built to forgive you
and what I build to make you know

You are more than the choices that you've made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You've been remade

You've been remade!

[vir Zellie]

~ by Tenth Avenue North


Tuesday, 3 July 2012

Jesus please tell my Mother...

Jesus there are so many unspoken words in my heart… if I put them all together, they would form a story. A beautiful story of a mother, my mother whom I deeply-deeply loved.

But I never spoke those words Jesus.
I never did.
I kept them all for one day, a special occasion…that never came.

I would have loved one more day with her…to say the words that burns in my heart, the love I had for her from the start. I would buy her lilies, tulips and roses and tell her how I see her perfect reflection in them.

I would tell her I wish I could carry all her many burdens
I would tell her I never meant to cause her any heartaches or pain
I would tell her I wished she never knew illness, sorrows or shame  
that she taught me well, that I am so proud to call her ‘mother’
...that she was the best thing that ever happened to me!
I would tell her I love her with my whole heart, over and over again.
I would love her in a way she deserved to be loved…

I never did any of the above. 
I just loved her ordinary. Spoke to her ordinary. Treated her ordinary. Visited her ordinary.

Jesus, but now it’s too late. 

I never wanted her to die not knowing how much I loved, adored, appreciated and respected her!
How will she now ever know?!
I never-never wanted her to be alone when she dies!
If only I had known!

Jesus I would give anything, sacrifice everything...  for one more moment with her.
Please tell I her I miss her endlessly -- that I love her dearly! 
Please tell her...
And Jesus, please tell her that she was the best thing that ever happened to me!

In Jesus Name I pray
Amen.

Monday, 2 July 2012

Beloved mother of mine

You passed away so suddenly
Without any warning or sign
What am I to do
Without your motherly love?
You were always just there
Patiently waiting for a phone call
or me stopping to say hi  
Oh why have I taken u 4 granted!

I have known you all my life
Have loved you for as long as I can remember
And hoped you would live forever
O how I wish with my whole heart
You didn’t die!

We have been through so many heartaches
You were my refuge during my younger years
You soothed my scary heart through raging storms
And answered the many questions I always seemed 2 have

You held my hand when I gave birth
To bravely go through the unknown
You taught me how to dance, love and care
how to be fare

Together we have grieved over loved ones’ graves
Encouraging each other 2 b brave
You stood beside me through every wrong decision I have ever made
And not once said “but I have told you so”

You have taught me right from wrong
You showed me how to burb a baby, change a nappy and be strong
You told me how to behave like a lady, be a mother and work with money
But mom you never told me what to do when you die!
You never told me what it would feel like not having you around!
You never told me that my heart would break!
You never told me that my world would fall apart!
You never taught me how to live without you!
You never showed me the way!
Mom you never prepared me for this!

Oh mother, my beloved Mother!
I miss you so very-very much
Mom, what am I going to do without you?

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