Before I became a reborn Christian I use to watch pornography every now and then with my husband. I used to say there is no harm, but the fact was: I was not OK with it. Whenever we were intimate I always wondered if my husband fantasised about the women we saw in the movies. I always felt self-conscious because I was not able to do what the people in the movies could and I definitely did not look as good as the 20 year old in the movie who had never had children. Intercourse was not intimate at all, but more of a race to try and live out something I saw in a movie. I did a lot of things just to please my husband. I didn't want to be boring in bed. I did some disgusting stuff in an effort to keep things interesting. Later on in my marriage Jesus saved me from my sins and I devoted my life to Jesus. Shortly after that I found out that this was not the only extent of my husband’s pornography viewing. It was also books and websites that he viewed continuously. I found that anything wit…
Therefore the Lord will wait [silence, linger] that He may be gracious to you; And therefore He will be exalted, that He may have mercy [compassion, forgiveness, kindness, sympathy, understanding, bigheartedness] on you. For the Lord is a God of justice; Blessed are all those who wait [long, desire] for Him. ~ Isaiah 30:18
Heavenly Father If one's heart has been broken, over and over again... will it ever heal completely? Or will I always be reminded of the evil by the harsh scars that never seems to mend... Abba Father help me not to hold on to yesterday, help me not to become bitter, or to take the easy way out... Father I need to let go but I don't know how anymore. Why has it become so difficult to forget, to forgive? Today, yet again I need Your healing mercy Walk with me through this fire I trust in You Jesus
Do You hear the music in the distance? Lord it is so all-around us, so real, so part of me and You that I cannot help but to fulfill the desire in my heart to just dance with You, again and again! O my Lord, do You remember our first dance? The memories of that day is forever imprinted in my soul – a beautiful everlasting moment we had… You and I. You pulled me up from where I laid on the floor, buried in my grief. You knew that my crushed spirit needed You so desperately right then. I could hardly breathe... Jesus I will never ever forget the love and tenderness I have experienced in Your arms that day. I was so overwhelmed by the immensity of Your love for me. I knew then that You would move mountains to protect me! Together we waltz, following the rhythm of our hearts, the beating of Your healing mercy. I broke down at every turn we took, but You kept on dancing, kept on turning, knowing how much I needed to rid of the hurt that drenched my soul. You held me steady. You held me toge…
Worthy is the Lamb who was slain, Holy, holy is He! Sing a new song to Him who sits on Heaven's mercy seat. Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God Almighty, who was and is and is to come. With all creation I sing praise to the King of kings. You are my everything and I will adore You. Filled with wonder, awestruck wonder, at the mention of Your Name! Jesus Your name is Power, Breath and Living Water, such a marvelous mystery.
You are worthy Jesus!
You are worthy to be praised!
To You be the Glory!