vat my terug

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My hart hunker na die Here
maar ek doen eintlik niks daaraan nie
alles het soveel moeite geword
Tog kan ek vanaand nie die verlange stil nie
ek dink aan die tyd wat ek en die Here so lekker gedans en gelag het
en begeer het om tog net lang hare te he sodat ek ook die Here se voete daarmee kan afvee
ek wou so graag dien en ‘n voorloper wees
ek het soveel planne gehad, drome
Nou doen ek net mooi niks – ek sit net
amper asof ek die verantwoordelik op die Here afskuif
asof ek wil he Hy moet moeite doen met my
My hart is leeg en tog verstom die hoeveelheid trane wat uit my oe uit bly rol, elke keer as ek myself toelaat dat om te dink
aan gister
Ek wil nie meer dink nie
nie aan die kinders wat die pad gevat het
en hul eie nes gaan skrop het in ‘n ver vreemde land nie
ook nie aan al die lee beloftes van 'n huweliks-maat wat glad nie meer skroom om verwoesting te saai met sy mond nie
 
Wat help dit tog om te bid Here
te glo dat alles ten goede sal uitwerk
terwyl dit voel asof niks meer sin of saak maak nie
My krummelgebede dra nie krag nie
daar is niks meer wat ek kan vra wat ek al 100 keer gevra het nie
ek kan aan niks meer dink om voor te bid nie
 
Die dorheid van die rivier-bank se krake maak my deurmekaar
wanneer het die strome lewende-water dan ophou vloei?
Vat my terug na die plek waar net U saakgemaak het Here
Vat my terug…

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