Testimonies


Hi Suzette,

Jy laat my dink aan die vrou in jou boek wat ek nog besig is om te lees.  Sy was ook so moeg en uitgeput van die duiwels uitdryf.  Jy het jouself ook in die Here se diens gestel en doen sulke goeie werk, die duiwel hou niks daarvan nie en gaan uit sy pad uit om jou te probeer stop.  Jy is vir hom ‘n GROOT bedreiging.  Moenie opgee nie!  The end will be worthwhile. 

Jy het vir my so baie beteken, ek sou lankal opgegee het as dit nie vir jou geloof was nie.  Die Here het jou op my pad gesit en dit het veroorsaak dat ek nie die pad byster geraak het nie en nou baie nader aan God lewe.  
 

 
 


Raped but not scarred, abused but not crippled

I do not believe God let things happen to us to teach us something, but I do believe that He uses it for his Glory and our benefit.
‘and we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestination to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brethren’  
~ Rom 8.28

I never had an easy life, from the age of 4 years I was sexually abuse by several men including direct family members.  A traumatic turn of events that impacted the course of my whole life.

My father was one of the abusers. With my mom working nightshifts at the hospital I was often left alone with him – the whole night. His abuse continued for the most part of my teenage years.

I was a scared little girl who believed every one of the threats he made and the lies he told. He said ‘I deserved what he did to me… and that I was actually looking for it. Those days nobody would have believed me anyway. So I kept quiet. No one knew my secret.

I never had any close friends nor invite any to my home. My father would either chase them away or be rude to them.  He was very possessive and did not allow me to go out with friends or anything. I was invisible to the world and kept to myself. It was only later in my teenage years that I would sneak out of the house to party with friends and would return before he wakes up. He never suspected a thing.

One night in July I sneaked out again with friends to go dancing – strangely enough this particular night my father knew I sneaked out.  At one stage my friends wanted to go to another place, and not wanting to go with them I stayed behind and we’ve agreed that they would pick me up in an hour. I have waited and waited. One hour became a few...

That night someone raped me. I have never been so scared in my whole life.  Shocked, scared and very confused…strange as it may, the only person I could think of to come to my rescue was my father.

I didn’t tell a single sole what happened that night. I was ashamed and scared of what my father would do, and of course I blamed myself. I believed that it was my fault - that I was looking for it… as I was taught. I thought if I don’t tell anyone about what had happened then no one would ever find out.

But God had another plan for my life. By November I started feeling funny and sick. My mom took me to the doctor and informed us that I was pregnant. Another shock!

I had absolutely no idea that I was pregnant. I had no symptoms and didn’t even pick up any weight.  And the thought never even crossed my mind. Apart from the fact that I was so uninformed and ignorant I have erased the whole ordeal of the rape from my mind.  How could this then be? I never slept around.

And then it hit me…I was raped. Remember.

My first thought was to get an abortion. What did I know about raising babies? The shame! My mom immediately interrupted my thoughts and said that we will raise this baby together. I never thought of it again – Today I thank GOD for my precious mother.

Not knowing how to tell my father and waiting for the right time, we kept it from him until the January of the following year. He was very disappointed. Shortly thereafter, when he got a chance to speak to me alone, he said …”so you decided to give yourself to another man, but you wouldn’t give yourself wholly to me". How could he even say such things! I told myself it did not matter anymore… at least the molestation ended.

That year in March I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy, perfect in every way. God does make mistakes and His plans never fail.

Even though I worked at a supermarket to help with the financial burden, it just wasn’t enough to make a living for me and my son.  After two years I‘d decided to move to Pretoria and found a nursing job. It was in this time that I’ve met my husband. He was 12 years older than me and I thought he would give me the love I was longing for and needed badly.  I needed security and fatherly love. How wrong I was.

He not only drank a lot but also cheated on me in that very same year. I chose to stay. I had no self-esteem and no self-worth… who would want me with all my baggage? I was very scared of him. Today, my greatest regret is that I had often put him before my son.

My son grew up in a dysfunctional home with no father figure even though there was a man present.  He would seek attention by being naughty, did not perform well in school, always tend to please people and was easily drawn into the wrong crowds.

At the time I did what I thought was best. I didn’t know any better.  I held on to the abusive relationship with my husband – afraid of rejection…and who would want me and my troubled son anyway?

It was only after 11 years of being together that we finally decided to get married. In the 17 years that we were together he continued with his drinking, affairs and the emotional abuse.  I withstand it all….and both my son and I, suffered the consequences. My beloved son was worthless in his eyes, rejected and alone.

I clung to my husband – desperate for his love and affection. Like a wounded animal I stayed, licked my wounds and hoped once more for his attention.

I reached a very low point in my life and during this time my friend invited me to church. I have heard about God but never reached out to Him. And here a new journey began.

I had to regain trust in people and in God. Whom, I have blamed for allowing bad things to happen me. But slowly I started to see there’s life and love beyond my pathetic view of the world.

With every sermon, camp and fellowship with God, my trust in Him grew stronger.  He showed me His unconditional love for me – the kind of a love I was searching for my whole life.

I met people who are His hands and feet - always looking out for me and offered endless support.  Each and every one played a perfect role in God’s plan for me.

Like any other new believer I wanted my husband to also believe in this amazing Jesus. But despite all my efforts our relationship deteriorated and he did not accept my new life in Christ.

My son went to church only because I have forced him. Today I know Gods plan never fails and that all will work out for the good in His time not mine. 

After more heartbreaks and broken promises my husband and I got divorced.  God was my strength through it all.

I never stopped praying. Prayer is the most powerful weapon and God always hears and always answers. My husband left me with nothing. My son got involved in drugs and I was alone. But God intervened and kept us safe. My son broke free from the vicious cycle and has turned his life around.

I have found freedom and liberty. God came for ALL not just for some; His Grace is for ALL the same.

Know that God will never leave nor forsake you. He knows everything about you. Nothing you do or say will make Him love you less.

Never let anyone tell you or make you feel worthless. You are chosen, sanctified, made righteous by Him, perfect in EVERY way. Not because of what "you did’ but because of the FINISHED WORK Jesus did when He did on the cross.
 
 
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Love has called your Name

 
“I will never be the same; Love has called my name, from the ashes I rise to proclaim:  Your love is undefeated, forever You will reign, Justice has won again.
Love has a voice, Love has a name: Jesus, Jesus.....”
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I am at the office, working, whith earphones tightly plugged into my ears, worshiping the most High God.

How did I go from not having time for God, to singing for my King every day?

How did I transform from a broken person with empty hands, to a perfect creation of the All Mighty Living God.  I am new, because Love had called my name in April 2009.  My story starts many years before that.....
I started smoking and drinking when I was only 12.  My parents were divorced that year and it was during that divorce when things got rough with very little adult supervision.  I had an older sister and ended up tagging along with her and I started doing these things for acceptance and in a way, I had to participate to ensure I would not tell on the wrong doings.
From as far as I can remember I was fighting for love and acceptance.  By the time my parents divorced, anything went just to avoid being rejected further.  The 1st time I visited a night club; I was 12 and could not understand why there was only one bathroom. It turned out to be a Gay Club.  I went there with my sister and her friend to pick someone up.
During the 1st few years after my parent’s divorce, I stayed with my mom.  She ended up in a very physical abusive relationship. I feared for my own and also my mother’s life and at times expected the worst.  Home was not a safe place for me and I wanted to avoid it at all cost, especially over weekends.
When I went to High School, I became friends with girls who was also fighting for acceptance and doing all the wrong things to get it.  By 13/14 I was smoking 20 cigarettes a day and we would hit the clubs on weekends and also get foolishly drunk.  With no means to get home, we would ask any guy to take us home.  I have thought many times that the fact that nothing bad ever happened was a miracle on its own.
I was 15 when I met the love of my life.  He was from a small town and very reserved and well mannered.  He was different.  He had a stable family and I visited them every weekend and holiday.  Weekends were something to look forward to again.  No violence, no drunken adults...peace. Those were good and peaceful times. At the end of my final year at school I fell pregnant and only realised it after I finished school.  For some this might be devastating, but for me, it was a dream come true.  I could then marry the love of my life.  We always said we will get married one day.  We just didn’t realise it would be so soon.
Shortly after we got married, a baby boy was added to our little family.  Life was good and it also seemed like we played house.  We grew up together and learnt allot about married life and parenting at a very young age.  A few years later we planned a 2nd addition to the family, and another boy was born.  Our family had grown to 4.  We were carrying on with our lives.  We had parties on weekends, drank too much, and got drunk, had hangovers on Sunday and church was the last thing on our minds.
We were driven by greed, and lived to make more money and to impress others.  We fought allot about money.  We were living above our income and even as adults we did things just to be accepted by friends or be worried about what people might think. We put the make-up on real good and showed people what they wanted to see.  We believed the devils rules on how to measure your worth.
In 2000 we were held up at gunpoint and robbed at my sister’s house.  Both my husband and brother in law were shot, but in the end we all survived.  This was the year fear took over my life.
When our oldest was 2 years old, we found out that he had an 85% hearing loss.  We dealt with it as best we could and got him hearing aids and at age 5 we put him in boarding school in the city.  We ended up moving to the city and a month after we moved there, my husband got hi-jacked and shot again.  Again we survived and every time I would think:  Why is God doing this?
At age 7 our oldest boy started falling allot and was off-balance.  We started numerous tests to determine the cause and after many tests we found out that both our boys had a rare genetic disorder.  What happens is that their energy cells don’t produce the right amount of energy to let the body function properly.  It is a de-generative disease and as they grow older, it affects more of the body functions.  Though born ‘normal’ they both have hearing loss, bad eyesight, poor balance and makes use of a wheelchair.  Without a walking aid they fall allot and get hurt.  Mentally they are also deteriorating and not in a “main stream” class.  They attend a class that teaches life skills.  Today they are 13 and 17 and really just like toddlers that never fully grown up.
I had always avoided God and did not want to deal with life.  In all the things that went on in my life, I thought God is punishing me for not going to church or not living on the straight and narrow.  I would always build walls and be in control (or so I thought).  I would wear my masks for all to see and do anything to hide the hurt and brokenness.  I was very short tempered and frustrated with my circumstances.  I would lash out at the kids or my husband.  I was a person full of anger and fear.

Parties got rougher; we would be flirty with other people and then fight about it later.  We were jealous and insecure.  We would watch pornography together, sex became more perverse and I did things willingly in fear of being compared to others or feared being rejected.  We were heading on a road to nowhere, a race to nothing.
In April 2009 my husband went on an overnight fishing trip with the kids and I was furious (with fear) to stay home alone.  We had a huge fight about all and anything that was wrong.  They left anyway and I was home alone and with fear off course.  That evening I was bored and I started reading a book about where we go once we die.  It would be one of two places.  Am I burning for eternity or am going to a place where there is peace, health and happiness.  I thought so much about where I was in my own life.  I was sick off all the fights, money problems and above all I longed to see our children healthy and able one day.
And on that night, 13 April 2009, Love called my name: I said to Jesus that I am so tired of the life I have and I want a new life.  I want things to change because that is not what life should be like.  That night I surrendered to God and made Jesus the Lord of my life and I knew, I would never be the same again.  For the 1st time in 10 years I fell asleep without being scared.
 
My husband returned the next day and I was so calm.  I did not tell him what happened, but just told him that I place the ball in his hand, and he needed to decide if I am in his future.  I said that I was tired of all the fighting and drama and could not go on the way we did. We made peace and the week after that we went on holiday.  I still had not told him I gave my heart to Jesus, but he knew something was different.
When we returned from holiday, I eventually spilled the beans and to my delight he told me that he also wanted to change.  I started praying for his salvation.  A day or two later I found out that my husband had a pornography addiction.  The extent of the addiction was a big blow.  The devil was pulling out all the stops to de-rail us.  I forgave him and told him he needed to change, and I kept praying.  On 13 May 2009 whilst working a night shift, the Lord met with him and he gave his life to Jesus.  He phoned me at 3 in the morning with the good news, I was so grateful for God’s grace.
We both started our new journey with God, and we soaked Him up like a sponge.  For the first time in our lives, we were free.  God did a miracle in our lives and we fell in love with each other all over again.  The new “us”.  God renewed our marriage and made us new.  The Lord is our joy every day and He is so good.  He blesses us with love, peace, happiness and we live fearless.  Today I only fear God.  God has healed two broken people and changed us forever.  The things I thought I would “have to give up” in the past, did not matter anymore, because God is “our enough”.
God taught me that He created every person equally.  It does not matter what colour you are or where you live or how many degrees you have.  I am not better just because I stay in a fancy house or drive a nice car.

God does not say: OOPS and you are not a mistake.  God taught me that we need to be grateful for what we have.  Don’t miss what He gives you today, just because you envy what others have.  Everything you have, God gave you, so don’t boast about it.

Fill yourself up with God and not with the things of this world, if you do that, you will never be satisfied.
It is important to forgive other people, because God forgives us the same way as we forgive our trespassers.  Forgiveness heals.

God has done so many miracles in our lives.  He has blessed us with our children and He showers us with love.
Earlier this year we wanted to install a swimming pool and when we thought we could get a discounted price, God took Himself out of the box that we put Him in, and He gave us a swimming pool for free!  Glory to God.
The best thing is that He is in control and we need not to worry.  We should not place God’s abilities in a box, because he does not have limits.
Today we are on the narrow road and still face heart ship sometimes, but this time our God, creator of the heavens and earth walks in front of us and He comforts us.  Our boys are such a blessing and joy and I would not have it any other way.
We are free.................Death where is your sting?
I look forward to the day I meet Jesus face to face at the start of my eternal life.
I love you Jesus and thank you that you died for me on the cross.


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My liewe vriendin

Ek het gedink ek sal vir jou eerder ‘n email stuur want ek weet ek gaan nie vir jou kan sê wat in my hart is as ek jou kom groet nie.

Suzette, jy het so ‘n impak op my lewe gemaak dat ek nie dink jy self besef hoe groot nie. Jy het my na die Here toe gelei toe ek gedink het daar is geen hoop vir my nie. Jy het my geleer hoe dit is om lief te wees vir Hom, jy het my geleer hoe om te bid, jy het my geleer wat stilte tyd is en jy het my geleer hoe om Sy stem te hoor. Hoe kan ek ooit vir jou dankie sê? Dankie dat jy my menswees raak gesien het en bereid was om my te leer.

Ek onthou in die begin hoe verbaas ek was van al die dinge wat jy weet van die Bybel. Hoe ek nie gou genoeg by my Bybel kon uitkom om dit te gaan lees nie, en min het ek geweet dis ook ‘n manier van leer.

Ek gaan ons saam lag vreeslik mis. Die stories wat ons mekaar vertel het van die “ou” dae en die baie kere wat ons net vir mekaar kon oopmaak sonder om bang te wees dat dit sal rond lê. Dankie dat jy moeite met my gedoen het.

Ek voel dat die Here vir jou wil sê “Suzette, jy is ‘n vrou na My hart”. En ek wil vir jou sê “Suzette, jy is ‘n vriendin baie na aan my hart”

Ek bel jou dan gaan koffie en koek ons!!!
Ek is baie lief vir jou!
Marietjie

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Liewe Liewe Suzette

Ek het op jou blog afgekom via FAce Book Ek het jou blog gelees en bietjie daardeur geblaai, jy, laat my aan myself dink. Ek het diep seergekry my hele lewe lank, en ek weet nie hoe om dit aan mense oor te vertel wat God vir my gedoen het. Dit is so onbeskryflik dat ek te min woorde het om dit te vertel.

Ek is 15 jaar gekei en moes my dogter alleen grootmaak en dit was moeilik gewees, die pa wou nie onderhoud betaal tot die skeisaak afgehandel was nie. Die skeisaak het 2 jaar geduur omrede hy gestry het oor die bedrag wat hy sou moes betaal elke maand. Ek het 3 werke gehad om kop bo water te hou. Min het ek eintlik geweet dat Jesus my gedra het in daardie tyd. My hartseer en verdriet was so erg gewees dat ek nie agtergekom het dat Jesus my dra nie.

Ek het weer iemand ontmoet en het 'n seuntjie by hom. Maar dinge het weereens nie uitgewerk nie. Seun is nou 8 jaar oud en op die oomblik leef ons net op God se genade. Ek doen ook websites maar besigheid in albei rigtings is maar stadig. Alhoewel dit baie sleg gaan finansieel op die oomblik loof en prys ek die Here nog steeds. Ek is lief vir God soos ek vir geen mens kan beskryf nie. Ek kannie nou laat los nie anders is ek my loon wat God vir my instoor het kwyt. Ek glo God gaan al Sy beloftes wat hy in Sy Woord vir my belowe het nakom sommer een van die dae.

Jy is 'n amazing vrou, uniek geskape deur ons Vader.

"Jesus, dankie dat Suzette 'n vrou na aan U hart is. Here, seen haar en haar gesin maak hulle voorspoedig Here. Seen haar goeie werke en dankie dat sy 'n inspirasie is vir die geknakte riete daarbuite. Here laat u lig deur haar skyn sodat almal kan weet hierdie is 'n Koning se dogter. Amen"

Groete
xxxx




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Suzette,

Na my journey by Restorasie het ek met gedagtes begin speel oor vrou wees en hoe baie "manswees", priester, koning, profeet beklemtoon en gedruk word - so toe dink ek aan Restorasie as 'n vorm van reformasie van die vrou se rol in die koninkryk en nie net daar nie maar in die sameleweing en dat vroue OOK hul plek moet inneem en hulle mans moet begin beskerm en baie van ons "besef" nie hoe belangrik dit is nie. Vroue moet daarvan hou om vrou te wees!!


Ek was altyd gekonfronteer met die fyner dingetjies van vrou wees, M A A R vandat ek daardie konfrontasie geface het, het so baie dinge vir my "oop" gegaan. Ek het my klere kas begin uitgooi (baggage in my lewe begin uitgooi, emosioneel en geestlik. Ek wil se dit is baie maklik fisies en selfs geestlik, maar die siel area, hy het gesukkel), my kamer, my Pa het vir my n truso kis gebou (droom droom droom), ek het begin uitsien na my man (dit was nog altyd iets waarna ek nie GESOEK het nie, ek het die houding gehad as dit moet sal dit en was nooit seker of ek bestem is om te trou en kinders te he nie. Dit was omgekeer vir my. ek het uitgesien na kinders, nie n man nie) en ek is baie baie bewus van wat ek aantrek, hoe ek lyk en ook praat ens ens ens. (Ons sal nog gaan koffie en oor alles praat). Die punt wat ek maak is; toe die fisiese dinge waaroor ek onseker was as vrou vir my bevestig was, het ek begin geniet om vrou te wees en die waarde daarvan le in ons identiteit as vrou wees ook! As jy weet wie jy is...

C


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Restoration Retreat

Getuienis 1:
Ek was al ‘n hele paar keer genader om te gaan en elke keer het ek natuurlike verskeie ‘legit’ verskonings hoekom ek nou eintlik nie sal kan nie… wel – my voete word onder my uitgeruk, my hart is stukkend en ek doen reelings ens ens met die spoed van wit lig, ek vat nie grond nie, gee myself nie kans om tot stilstand te kom en te dink nie. ek staan vir meer as 2 weke lank op met dik gehuilde oë, dus slaap ek nie – 2 en ‘n bietjie laaaaaaang weke!!!! ek voel naby breekpunt maar ek is suzette ek kan en sal nie breek nie ek moet aangaan, aangaan, aangaan……
Op ‘n stadium in hierdie warboel waarin ek my bevind word ek weer gevra of ek wil saamgaan – en sonder om te dink is my antwoord ja. die dag kom nader en my vriendin word siek en my eerste vraag aan haar is: “gaan ons nog of nie?” mmmm

gedink dit gaan werk? nee dit het nie – en vrydag verkas ek op my vroeë vrydag middag en laai ek my vriendin op en is ons fort. Zebula hier kom ons – ek weet nie wat om te verwag, maar een troos die natuur en die stilte is daar!!!! rustigheid en kans om te stop en te dink…
Vrydag middag laat is ons daar, pak af en sit by die boma – waar Suzette (noem haar maar die hoofmeisie) besig is met ‘n vuur nogal!!!! ons kuier en leer mekaar bietjie ken…
In die slaapkamers wat aan elk toegeken is, is daar ‘n toegeplakte a4 koevert op die voetenend met elkeen se naam, moet ek oopmaak of nie? besluit daarteen – sal maar later. daar is die oulikste goedjies – liefdevol gemaak en liefdevol daar gesit!!! knop in die keel – ken dit nie meer nie.. dis moeilik maar die dankbaarheid vir die 3 mense wel in my op – ‘n traan word gepik.
Na ‘n ongelooflike nagrus begin my dag met ‘n heerlike ontbyt op die stoep – die stilte, die natuur, die voels en diere, wolke wat verby dryf, die wind wat liggies swiep – dit laat jou dink… “het julle julle briefies gelees” van ons het ander nie – dis ‘n persoonlike profesie aan elke persoon daar – ek haas my terug kamer toe en met ‘n anstigheid maak ek die koevert oop om te lees – ek bid in my gedagtes – ek begin die profesie lees…kan dit wees – hoeveel keer het ek hierdie woord al bevestig gekry vir my???? ek moet nou kennis neem die Here het ‘n werk vir my !
Ons gaan na die boonste stoep en daar wag so ‘n dik leêr – ai tog waarin het ek my begeef sou eerder wou gaan vir ‘n masering (die spiere in my hele lyf is stokstyf van die laaste 2 weke kan nogal doen met een). wel – vasbyt en laat ons maar kyk… my mond het oopgehang – net deur die pratery, die take, die samesyn – samesyn met mekaar en samesyn met die here!!! – ek voel sy teenwoordigheid – ek voel hoe die heilige gees binne my begin praat - met my – die spanning spoel uit my spiere en daar kom ‘n vrede oor my ‘n groot liefdevolle vrede…die woord wat uitgaan, die besprekings, dit alles bring vrede in my die besef dat ek ‘n kind van god is – spesiaal is en dat hy my liefhet en met my bemoeienis wil maak. die here wys vir my ‘n groot groep mense en voor aan die punt is ek – ek wat Suzette is – praat met hierdie mense, lei hulle en hulle volg…die wonderlikheid van saterdag was ook dat alles wat ons aangepak het volgens Jesus se woord gedoen is – ons kon intimiteit, higiene, beplanning alles bespreek en uit die woord sien dat dit so moet wees!!!! die Here se seen is intens terwyl ons besig is, ek het dit baie lanklaas so ervaar – maar ek is dankbaar, dankbaar dat ek wel gekom het en dankbaar dat die Here met my bemoeienis maak nie teenstaande al die ander goed in my lewe.

Ek chat lank met iemand die aand, ‘n kind – maar met die chat met haar begin ek dinge binne my losmaak, ek dryf dit uit want sy laat my deur nuwe oe na die situasies kyk!!! ek dink nie sy weet enigsins wat sy daardie aand vir my beteken het nie – ek het ‘n tydjie gehad om vry te kom van dinge en situasies en mense wat my vashou!!!! na 12 gaan slaap ons eers maar dit was met verwondering dat ek in die bed geklim het en met ‘n blydskap en afwagting kon gaan slaap oor dit wat gebeur het en nog gaan gebeur……die verwagting vir sondag is groot en met hierdie laaste gevoel en gedagte verval ek in ‘n ongelooflike wonderlike slaap – die luukse wat ek die afgelope 2 weke nie geken het nie.
Sondag voel ek werklik ligter – nie in kilogramme nie ek wens maar net – maar geestelik. ons word bedien met nagmaal en ‘n wonderlike salwing van die heilige gees is teenwoordig en word ons voete gewas – vrymaking, vrymaking van die ‘bondage’ ek kon die groot seermaak hierbinne ‘release’ – die mense vryspreek wat my gebonde hou en Jesus se vrede en liefde in my hart terugplaas…….
Ek ry om my ouers te gaan groet in mooinooi – ry ‘n 110km draai maar ek doen dit met ‘n lied in my hart, ek bid weer in tale, sing kliphard tot sy eer……. ek wens so die naweek kon aanhou.
As mens wil ek net sê dat ek ‘n ongelooflike dankbare hart het dat ek die kans gehad het om restourasie te ervaar, dit kan saamneem en deelmaak van my, julle is gesalfdes van jesus en het soveel liefde wat julle gee daarom bid ek dat Jesus julle elke minuut van die dag sal volmaak van sy liefde, sodat julle kan voorbou op dit wat ek ervaar het, dat julle die krag daarvoor sal hê en nie uitgesuig sal word nie maar telkens volgemaak sal word van Sy gees.

Restourasie het vir weer die mooi van liefde gewys – liefde vir Sy skepping, die mens, natuur, dier. drome ontsluit wat daar diep binne weggebêre was omdat almal eerste gestel was en ek laaste.

Ek leef nou nader aan god – ek wil elke dag met sy krag en liefde begin en eindig, ek wil sy woord aan my uitleef sodat almal kan ervaar wat ek ervaar – ek wil die jesus kleed aantrek – ek wil die lig wees wat almal aantrek na hom soos die mot met die kers – my gebed is dat Jesus my krag sal gee om so te leef, en ek weet met Hom aan my sy en die restourasie produk kan en sal ek dit vervolvoer!!!!!!!

Dankie vir julle en mag julle van krag tot krag gaan en mag Jesus julle seen met wysheid, krag, liefde en deernis.

Getuienis 2:
Die naweek het my gewys hoe om weer te begin droom. Dit hoef nie net by jou huis te bly nie, maar ek kan ook oor ander dinge begin droom en dieselfde beginsel gebruik.
Dit het my gewys wat om te doen met dinge uit die verlede - hoe om dit af te sny en hoe om dit uit te haal uit my lewe uit.  Ek moet oor die leemte nou vul met die Woord van God.

Ek moet dingein die oopte bring want die Here is 'n gentleman en sal nie Homself opdring nie.  Ek moet vir Hom se ek wil he Hy moet my verander en ek moet my samewerking gee. Ek moet nie net stop om woordvloeke uit te spreek nie, maar ek moet weet dnge kom nie vanself nie, ek moet ook lewe spreek in my situasie en die oorvloed roep.

Dit het my geleer dat dit waarvan jy en waarmee jy goed is, gewoonlik jou bediening is.
Baie dankie vir die baie moeite wat jy en jou span gedoen het hierdie naweek.  Die baie kaartjies en mooi leers is 'n riem onder my hart.  Ek het baie geleer en gesien die duiwel lieg vir 'n mens tot oor jou selfbeeld en dat wat jy dink 'n swak selfbeeld is in der waarheid maar net my swak foute en terkortkominge is en dat my selfbeeld in Christus Jesus is.

Baie dankie vir alles

Getuienis 3:
Restourasie het my laat beself dat 'n mens so gou kan stagneer in 'n situasie, stadium in jou lewe, sekere maniere van dinge doen, denkwyses, hoe jy lyk. Dis eintlik so lekker om goed te verander, maar ek doen dit so min. Dis gerieflik dat jy in jou comfort zone bly. Ek het hierdie naweek besef dat die Here my dieselfde sien as al sy ander kinders.  Ek moet ophou dat my issues my aftrek, want dit is net die vyand wat my verhouding met God wil kom beskadig.  God wil ook nie he ek moet pateties wees nie, maar eerder victorius deur hierdie lewe gaan en my toerus en voorberei om 'n Koningskind te wees.

Ek moet ook balans in my lewe kry in terme van werk.  Ek wil die homemaker/peacemaker/safehouse tuis wees. Ek het geleer en tot die beself gekomd at net die Here en my keuses my gelukkig kan maak.  Ek moet 'n besluit neem oor hoe ek in 'n situasie gaan reageer.  Trek ek dit aan en hou 'n pitty party of staan ek sterk in Jesus. Dit is tyd dat mense Jesus in my ook moet raaksien.  Ek moet goed vir die koningkryk begin doen en na ander mense uitryk.

Die hele Restourasie span is amazing.  Hoe almal saamwerk en nederig is om God se kinders te help is vir my 'n eye-opener.  Duer selfs 'n teelepel te was dra by tot die kompleet pakket.  Julle maak 'n goeie span. Dis ook 'n bewys dat jy nie Angus Buchan hoef te wees om 'n impak of iemand se lewe te maak nie.

Ons kan almal iets doen vir die Here, ons moet net bereid wees.
Ekhet lekker gereedskap gekry om dinge in my lewe uit te sorteer en eens en veraltyd dit weg te sit.
Ek is dankbaar vir die hele naweek en die pragtige plek wat die Here deur Sandra voorsien het. Dit was heerlik.

Dankie Suzette, vir jou tyd, woord en bediening en natuurlik al jou geduld.
Dankie Elna vir al die skottelgoed en hulp en jou pragtige lag.
Dankie Sandra vir al die reelings, kosmaak en prag.

Julle is dierbaar en maak 'n great span.  Dankie dat julle nie judge en my gemaklik laat voel.  Julle is dierbaar en mense na wie ek opkyk.  Dankie dat julle sulke goe advertensies vir God is.  Mag jul seeninge oorloop.

Liefde

Getuienis 4:
Ek het in die begin na die naweek gekom, met einlik geen verwagting nie.  Ek het gedink ek gaan net niks doen nie en lekker rus.  Ek en my man het woorde gehad en ek het besef dat ek verseker Restourasie in myself nodig het.  Ek het vrydag met die Here gepraat en vir Hom gevra om iets die naweek vir my te openbaar, want ek het regtig seer, ek het soms regtig nie lus om te lewe nie... ek voel soms dat ek net asem haal.

Toe ek die briefie van Suzette op my bed lees, het ek net begin huil, want dit is presies wat ek moes hoor!  Dit het my meer laat uit sien na die res van die dag wat voorle, want ek het besef, God het my gehoor, Hy sien my seer, Hy sien my behoeftes, en Hy ken my vrese.  En hy het gehoor gegee aan my gebed.

Met die behandeling van die verskillende lessies het ek stukkie vir stukkie begin besef dat ek werklik waar kosbaar is vir God.  Dat God werklik waar lief is vir my, dat Hy werklik net met liefdes-oe na my kyk, ten spyte van my seer, en my foute, sonde, onopgelosde sake.  God het my op die aarde geplaas met 'n rede, Hy het nie  'n fout gemaak nie.  Eerstens het Hy my 'n vrou gemaak en dis so kosbaar om 'n vrou te kan wees... ten spyte van al die verantwoordelikhede wat ons as vrou het, kan dit tog lekker wees om 'n vrou te wees.

Ek het opnuut besef, ek weet dit, maar Ek het nodig gehad om dit weer die naweek te hoor, dat God 'n plan met elkeen van ons in hierdie wereld, Hy het 'n roeping vir elkeen.  En ek weet verseker my roeping le by kinders en ek weet dat ek met kinders moet werk en kinders moet bedien.  Ten spyte van my seer en dinge wat ek nog moet hanteer, kan ek bo dit uitstyg en doen wat die Her my voor geroep het...

Ek sukkel soms om te vergewe... om onvoorwaardelik te vergewe... en dit is soms dan die rede hoekom 'sake' nooit 'n einde kry nie, want daai deur word nooit heeltemal toegemaak en gesluit nie, ek laat toe dat daar 'n skrefie oop bly.  En ek het besef of weer opnuut gehoor dat ek moet klaarkry met dinge, dit hanteer en daai stukkie seer of woede moet uithaal en aangaan.  Onvoorwaardelik aangaan!

Toe ons 'n prentjie moes skep oor 'n tipe rok wat ons, onsself in sien, het ek dadelik 'n prentjie van myself gesien in 'n wit somersrokkie.  Ek het die Here hoor se:  My dogter jy is vry!
God het reeds vir my die prys betaal.  Ek is bly, en ek moet die seer van die verlede afgooi, want God was my skoon, Hy maak my weer wit soos sneeu.  Ek is vry om te lewe, en ek kan los kom van die dinge van die verlede wat my probeer vashou.

Ek wil 'n goeie vrou vir my man wees. Ek het die naweek opnuut besef dat hoe belangrik dit is wat jy aantrek, wat jou optrede is, hoe jou huis lyk, want dit weerspieel wie ek is, dit weerspieel my hart.  Maar ten spyte van hoe belangrik jou versorging is, hoe lekker dit actually is want dis lekker om vrou te wees!

Ek het die naweek baie geniet, ek weet dat dit wat seer is, dit wat heel gemaak is en moet word, nie oornag gaan gebeur nie, maar dit hang alles van myself af van gaan ek daai stap laat gebeur.  Want niemand kan my sake vir my uitsorteer nie.  Behalwe ek en die Here - Ek sien uit na die nuwe ek !!

Baie baie dankie vir alles.  Julle doen wonderlike werk.  Dankie dat jul my so spesiaal laat voel het, dankie vir al die moeite met die kos en alles !! Dis awesome!

Lief vir julle


*******



Saterdag terwyl ek daar by julle betrokke was daar ‘n paar geleenthede wat ek baie swaar moes sluk.
Ek het soms uitgeloop en buite gaan sluk en dan weer vol brawade teruggekom en weer foto’s geneem.
Die afgelope 2 jaar het ek meer nou met manne saam gewerk en met dinge waarmee hulle sukkel te doen gekry.

Ons was verlede jaar ‘n groepie wat die boekie “Man in the Mirror” van Pat Mortley behandel het en het daar baie met manne se gevoelens en wroeginge te doen gekry.

Dit was vir my baie ontnugterend om agter te kom wat manne regtig gedoen het.

Hoe hulle soms net gebruik of misbruik net om hul ego te streel.
Tot Vader hulle harte eendag aanraak en hulle besef dat hulle verkeerd was.
Na Gerda se getuienis wou ek baie graag names al die manne, al was ek nooit een van hulle, vir almal daar kom omverskoning vra.

Vir my is ‘n vrou tog toonbeeld van Vader se skepping en ‘n skepsel wat gekoester en met sorg behandel moet word.
Ja mens verskil soms maar dit is geen rede vir misbruik of self agressie nie, veral nie as die Heilige Gees in jou lewe nie.

Saterdag deur die nag het van die onderstaande woorde net bly maal en maal in my kop.
Ek moes dit net op papier sit en met jou deel terwyl ek aan elke vrou wat die moeilike pad moes loop, gedink het.

‘n Traan vir jou, o vreemde vrou

Jy is vir my onbekend
Maar jou seer het ek kon hoor
Jy moes jou na iemand wend
En daar was ons GROOT Vader se oor

Sleg het jou man jou behandel
En dit in elke dag se wandel
“Ek is verkeerd
daarom is hy so wreed”

Dit was jou gevoel
Terwyl die waarheid ook in jou woel
Nee!!! Vader het my ook lief
Wyk, jy my geluk se dief!!!

Ek mag ook leef
ten spyte van stigma wat aan my kleef
Wie gee vir jou die reg
om elke dag met my so te veg.

Dankie Vader dat U my weer op kom tel
Dankie dat U my red uit hierdie hel
Dankie dat ek weer vrou mag wees
Dankie dat ek weer heel kan wees

O vrou, jy is ook deel van Vader se troon
O vrou, jy dra ook Sy kroon
O vrou, mensie so sag
ek is jammer dat jy laat in die nag vir hom moes wag
O vrou so teer
Ek is jammer vir die woorde jou toegesnou
O vrou met ‘n hart so seer
Gaan na Vader dat hy jou met Sy liefde omvou

Dankie o vrou na God se hart
Vir elke gebed deur daardie sagte oë met trane benat.
Dankie o vrou vir elke kindjie aan jul toevertrou
Wat jy alleen moes groot maak sonder berou.

Namens elke man wil ek sê, askies
Saam sal ek bid
Saam sal ek pleit

Saam sal ek vra: Vader stuur U Gees,
Vader sal U sy hart genees
Vader laat U sy eerste wees
Vader sal U sy gesin ook genees.

Dankie my Vader, ons loof U vir elke man wat weer sy vrouetjie raak sal sien
Weer sy kinders sal raak sien,
MAAR U eerste weer sal sien en dien.

Van 'n man

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