Conversations with God

Good Night God

I am sure you missed me talking to You today. Father I am so sorry that only now, I give You my my individed attention. I missed You. I really missed Your voice today. Have You been waiting for me? Were You looking out for me Lord?

Lord, what did You do today? What happened in heaven today. How many celebrations have You had today? I bet You had quite a few - did the angels have fun with You dancing and singing over all the newborn christians? Wow! Lord Your parties must have the biggest fireworks show ever!! Filled with laughter and dancing, music and clapping and Lord, just happiness. I would love to experience it one day Lord. Will You invite me, soon? I would love to join in the fun ...

Why do I sense a bit of sadness Lord.... Abba? did someone hurt You today? Did anyone break Your heart all over again? Will You please tell me if someone did? I want to be there for You too... you can cry on my shoulder too Lord. I'll understand - I know the pain of an aching heart... of someones betrayal...

Lord, tomorrow morning when I wake up... please be there. Dont' leave. If You see me taking too long to open my eyes, don't leave. Please wait. I want You to be the first person that I see when I open my eyes.

I love You.
Good Night Lord

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Today

Lord, come sit here by my side.
Lets look out the window, 2gether, U and I
Tell me Your plans 4 2day
Show me the sunrise that U chose 4 this morning
I would love 2 c it
Please sit closer as I want 2 share the view with U
I want us 2 experience it 2gether
Let me c it through Your eyes
Lord allow me 2 hear how U greet the new day - I want to 2 hear U talking 2 the sun and Lord I would absolutely love 2 hear Your sweet voice, giving instructions to Your creation.

Do U whistle 2 the birds and sing lullaby's to their babies? Do U have a special way of greeting them? Do they sit on the branches each morning, eagerly awaiting their Creator's loving voice? Do they start their day by loving U first? Do they think of U as often and fondly as I do my Lord?
I bet U that they start chirping and singing and dancing, knowing U are on Your way! Full of joy, so very happy and content with whatever U may bring. Like little children, they trust U. Because they know U and they love U.

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Please forgive me Father

Pull me into Your presence so that I can rest.. The burdens upon me is just too heavy Father. Please help me, I need You. Your yoke is not heavy, please lighten my burdens.

I am so sorry for You Jesus. You took my blame, You made it Yours. You paid the price. Jesus I have hurt You again - over and over.

When will I ever stop? When Father will we come to the realisation that we are crucifying You again and again. As if You haven't suffered enough..

Please forgive me for the role I played, for the aching in Your heart that I caused You today.

Please turn me into a women, a mother, a wife, a evangelist, a friend, that will bring honour to Your Name.

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My Beloved Father

My Father who is in heaven and in my heart... There is no one like You. Nothing compares. Nothing.

I wish I could grasp everything in Your Creation. How absolutely marvelous You are. Is there a word, known to man, that can describe Your magnificence? Father, teach me, show me Your marvelous works. Your love for all You have made, amazes me..

The way You have orchestrated sound is so far above my understanding that I cannot even begin to comprehend what it is that You have done.. You have done great things!

I delight myself in this knowledge, I wish I could know more..

I adore You Father and I bless You with everything that is within me.


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Namibia

‘n Stukkie aarde, ‘n stukkie van U hart, 'n stukkie van U droom...

Here, ek het weereens, ‘n nuwe diepte van U ontdek die naweek. Iets wat U so saggies in my kom neer sit het, sonder dat ek dadelik daarvan bewus was. Toe ek voel, toe is dit daar. U het ‘n ander tipe honger in my hart gevul. Iets vir my gegee wat ek nie in woorde kan beskryf nie. ‘n Geskenk, so saggies, so onmisbaar kosbaar, heilig…

Hoe kry U dit reg, om so saggies, só raak te vat? U het die vermoë om so teer met gebroke harte te werk, om stukkie vir stukkie weer bymekaar te sit, maar uit dieselfde hart, iets nuuts te vorm.

Hoe kry U dit reg om nuwe hoop in ‘n stukkende vroutjie se hart te plaas? Om droewigheid met blydskap te vervang binne enkele oomblikke? Om dofheid uit ou oë te haal, en dit te laat blink soos ‘n verliefde bruid sin?

Hoe kan die mensdom U bestaan ontken Here? Hoe kan hul U ontken? Here my mense-hart verstaan dit nie. Iets in my wil in opstand kom daaroor! Sien hulle nie U liefde vir die mensdom raak nie? Het hul nog nooit die Godheid van U beleef nie? U glorie nog nooit aanskou nie?

Kyk hul die kruis mis, Here?

Stuur my Vader Here om vir die mense die Kruis te wys.!


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Berg-Op


Hoeveel keer kom ons nie te staan voor ‘n berg in ons lewe nie. ‘n Berg so hoog en op die oog-af, so on-klimbaar dat ons nie eers probeer om dit te klim nie.
Ek het al te veel kere in my lewe tou op gegooi. Die berg was so ‘n ‘in-my-face’ realiteit dat ek net nie kans gesien het nie.

Was jy al daar, waar jy die berg bekýk, assesseer, bedink, beplan, selfs ver ente langs die berg probeer stap en dan besluit die journey gaan te lank neem. Dit gaan te moeilik wees dat jy nie eens probeer nie. Jy gaan liewer kamp opslaan by die berg. Miskien dan gaan jy kans sien om eerder ‘n ompad te vat.. óm hom te loop.
Vir soveel ‘waisted’ jare, het ek gekamp langs die berg aan die voet-en-ent. Ek het myself al so gerieflik ingerig dat ek gedink het dis toe nie so erg aan die voet-en-ent nie. Ek het nou nie ‘n fantastiese uitsig nie, maar vir eers kan dié doen.

Tot daar weer ‘n storm om my los bars, dan beskou ek weer die berg, probeer moed bymekaar skraap en myself motiveer om maar wel te klim.

Net sodra ek weer wil tou opgooi, dan hoor ek ‘n stem wat sê ”… Kom, klim tot bo…”

Tot die dag wat ek my tentpenne uitgetrek het. Dit was seer. Ek moes soveel dinge agter laat. Dinge wat vir my belangrik en geliefd was. Wat my geselskap was vir baie jare. Waaraan ek so geklou het, wat my comfort-zone geraak het. Maar ek het besef ek dra te swaar. As ek die journey na vryheid, na nuwe hoogtes, na ‘n beter uitsig wou hê mos ek mense en dinge agter los. My soeke na vrede, en oplossings, na vryheid het só oorweldigend dringender geraak as dit waaraan ek vasgeklou het.

Ek moes. Iets het my gejaag. Geroep. Na beter, na hoër. Na meer., na Vryheid. Hoop. Desperaatheid.

Soos wat ek tree vir tree gegee het en gesukkel het, het die Here my elke keer ‘n stukkie gereedskap, ‘n stukkie, waarheid aangegee wat my vashou plek gegee het. Daar was tye wat ek net teen die hange van die berg gaan sit het. Gehuil het. Ek was net te moeg om aan te gaan. Lewensmoeg.

Die berg was net te hoog. Ek was bang ek sou val. Ek wou net lê en huil oor my moegheid. My omstandighede. My sukkel. My eensaamheid. Soms was dit my huwelik. Ander kere was ek bekommerd oor my kinders. By tye het ek getwyfel in my vermoë om my kinders groot te maak. Soms was die gevolge van verkeerde besluite so oorweldigend dat ek nie geweet het hoe nou nie.

Dan het Jesus langs my kom sit. Met ‘n slukke water ... en rustig vertel hoe trots Hy op my is. Dat ek begin klim het. Dat, al was ek bang, ek Hom vertrou het om my te help. Dan stel Hy my oor en oor gerus, Hy sal die hele pad saam my klim. My wys waar ek moet trap, waar ek moet vashou.

En elke keer wanneer ek ongemaklik en bang raak, dan hoor ek Hom weer sê..” Kom, klim tot bo…”

Ek wou nie. Ek was so onfiks. Dis moeilik Here. Hoor U my nie!!! Ek wil nie meer klim nie.

..” Kom klim nog bietje hoër, tot bo…”

Na baie trane, eelte, splinters en wonde is ek bo !!!

What a view Here !

Die Here was só verskriklik opgewonde oor my journey ! As ek net vroeër geweet het Hy sou so reageer sou ek eerder harder probeer het. Vinniger probeer klim het.

Die Here kon skaars wag dat ek my asem moes kry om my Sý view te wys. Van bo af.

Here, als is so duideliker hier bo. Crystal Clear. Niks lyk vir my onoorwinbaar nie. Ek sien tot vér – selfs die sonsopkoms sien ek met ander oë.

Ek verstaan nou hoekom Moses so graag vir U op die berg gaan kuier het. Want om U glorie te aanskou is a breath-taking view.

Dankie vir die uitnodiging om vir U te gaan kuier. Keer op Keer.

Wat ‘n journey Here.


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A view from the Mountain Top


My Dear Jesus

How magnificent it is indeed to be able to stand on the mountain top for a change, and see the view from Your eyes.

It is as clear and comprehensible just as You have promised me it would be. You have been so patient with me. Teaching me how to climb my mountains. Carefully instructing me how
to use the tools You have provided for me for every situation…

When I was too tired to go further, You, ever so patiently
waited for me to catch my breath. Lovingly nudging me to go on, to climb higher. Thank You Lord for teaching me to look at it from various angles.

Your angles. I needed just that.

I just wish I had the courage - must sooner, than I did, to make the journey.
Things would have been much easier.

I love Your view Lord. It’s much nicer than mine. Bearable, reachable, graspable.
Your Eyes see differently than mine. Teach me Jesus to see it through Your Eyes.

To see more.
To See the unseen.
Your Secret Place.

"as the mountains lie around Jerusalem so am I around you …" Ps 125:2


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Mountain Song


Up To The Mountain
Abba, often I make the journey
up to the mountain
only because You asked me to

Up over the clouds
to where the sky is blue
so that I can see all around me
Everywhere

So many fears troubles my soul
I cannot see
Sometimes I feel like
I've never been nothing but tired

Sometimes I lay down
no more can I do
but then I go on again
because You asked me to

Some days I look down
afraid that I will fall,
that I might fail You...
and though the sun still shines
I see nothing at all

Then I hear Your sweet voice,
“Beloved, come and let go”
Telling me softly
You love me so...

My Peaceful Valley
Just over the mountain
A Place, few come to know
Sooner or later I will go again
where Your Peace
will surround me


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Here ek verstaan nie!


Here ek verstaan dit nie, my mense hart is in die pad... U is die Lig, die Waarheid, Here vandag, skyn dit asb op my hart sodat ek nog 'n paar dinge kan verstaan! Here, U is die belangrikste Mens, Vriend, Wese, Persoon in my lewe.  Dit, weet U is werklik die waarheid. 'n Feit.  Ek wil regtig nie sonder U lewe nie.  Ek kan nie my lewe indink sonder U nie.  U is alles wat ek nodig het.  My hele lewe draai om U.  Ek wil U lief he en aanbid en bewonder en mee dans en gesels en tyd mee spandeer ..!
Waarom dan Here, gebeur dit dat ek - al is dit hoe min kere - vergeet om U heel eerste in die oggend te groet.??  Hoekom kan ek nog so maklik vasgevang raak in dinge van die wereld.  Stupid dinge Here, goed wat nie eens vir my belangrik is nie.  Wat gaan in my hart aan dat ek soms nog eerder wil lelik wees en terug skinder.  Of net soms, met alles in my, iemand wil terug slegse?

Ek wil nie so wees nie Here van my lewe.  Ek wil net goed wees en goed doen en U behaag, met my gedrag en met my gedagtes.  Ek wil 'n lewe lei wat net eer aan U bring.

Ek verstaan al hoe meer en meer Dawid se hart... sy hartstogtelike uitroepe en hulpkrete na U.. U genade.. U liefde.. om in te gryp.

Moet asb nie U Heilige Gees van my wegneem nie.
Ontsondig my met U hissop.
In Jesus Naam
van U gunsgenoot
xxx



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A love letter



Abba Avi, how often do You not surprise and amaze me by the wonders of Your Mighty Love. It is indeed through Your amazing love 4 me that I can sense the softness of Your Presence... the tenderness of Your touch... the sweetness of Your kiss...

It is only You sweet, sweet Jesus that can take me high up in the sky and give me the ability 2 fly, 2 fly away with You. Into freedom... into weightlessness... into abundance... into holiness... into nothing, yet everything !

Just like an eagle, high, high so high up in the sky, 2gether with You. You who are the Wind beneath my wings, the Wind that shields me, that directs and guides me, that protects me and that gives me the ability to be fearless, accurate, strong, fast and free...

Oh how I love Thee...

It is only You that can give me hind's feet so that I am able to walk with U on High Places, where I can wander on mountains so high, without being afraid - where no one can reach me... Only You... only You.

Abba Father, give me the ability to dream... Your dream. The one that You dreamed when You were busy creating me. The same dream You dreamed when You formed my heart.

When I close my eyes I can still feel Your hands, lovingly, softly and very carefully, shaping my heart... my arms, my stomach, my legs and toes...

I can still see the look in Your Eyes when You opened mine.. the love.. oh the tender love that I saw and experienced, still takes my breath away... I remember that I could drown in Your love... that was the moment that I gave my heart to You... knowing that I would be Loved for ever.

I can still smell You. The moment Your breathed life into me.. I know like I knew then that You would be with me, every breath that I take.

And oh, the sweet sweet moment, when You kissed me... the tenderness of Your Lips, they were so soft then, just as You are now... the taste of Your Lips, like strawberries, or was it grapes, or honey? - I still don't know because I have never tasted a Kiss that was so sweet - a Kiss that was mingled with all the fruits of the Holy Spirit, and Love, oh love, how sweet is Your love !

One day, oh one day my Lover is going to kiss me again! What a glorious day it is going to be... when I will be kissed by my Bridegroom!

I will make arrangements for Your Coming - I will prepare the way for You.

I am so thrilled by the mere thought of our Wedding. Oh Jesus! What a Glorius Day it is going to be! I cannot wait to be Your Bride... to be united with You. To seal our Love in Holy Matrimony. I am longing for the day where I can be in Your loving Presence, every second of they day.

Just like a little girl, I am dreaming of our Special Day, a date and time that You have set aside for us. I still dream of what my dress will look like, the length of my veil, and especially of the look in Your Eyes when You see me walking down the isle... all in white - like a virgin, pure and holy in Your eyes.

I dream of spending my days on end with You, by Your side, together You and I.

Oh Holy Jesus... I long for You... I am counting the days of Your Coming.

I hope it will be soon...

I love You so much...

With all my love
Your Bride-to-be
Suzette


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Hoe seer is weer seer Here?


Ek weet nie hoe om die seer in my vandag te hanteer nie Here.  Dit voel opnuut asof die seer in my hart oopgeruk is.  Here hoekom maak dit gister se seer dan nou weer opnuut wakker... Was dit al die tyd net steke in my hart gewees?  Ek het gedink, geglo! dat ek ok is, dat die wonde geheel het!  Het dit dan nie Here? Het ek myself net gebluf al die tyd en als net onderdruk?

Here, hierdie ding is vir my net te swaar vandag... My ingewande is lam... geskok... teleurgesteld.

Weer...

Ek kan my trane nie inhou nie, ek probeer maar sukkel want dit voel asof 'n damwal binne-in my wil oopbreuk.  Maak my verstaan Here, my hart en verstand moet die ding verstaan !!  My selfbeeld hang aan 'n draadjie of verbeel ek my daaroor dan nou ook... is daar nog 'n draadjie - erens.  Ek kan nie Here.

...'Refiners Fire....'

Hoe tel ek my kop op na vandag? Hoe face ek ... hierdie dinge?
Wat nou?  Here, my hele wese roep uit na U om my op te tel, eenkant toe weg te dra...
Ek wil in vlees reageer, weghardloop. Dis te moeilik Here.  Dis vandag net te moeilik.
Here, ek dink nie ek kan nie; al se U woord 'ek kan'...
Kan ek werklik Here?
Hoekom, weer... ?

Vir hoe lank kan mens seer hanteer
Hoe seer is weer-seer Here?

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Hoe undo ek my foute?

Here partykeer wonder ek oor dinge... oor my lewe, veral my verlede...

Vir hoe lank dra mens nog die gevolge van 'n verkeerde besluit wat jy lank lank gelede geneem het?

Soms wens ek dat wanneer mens tot bekering kom, als wat ek gedoen en gese het wat lelik en vieslik was, net kan verdwyn... dat ek dit kan 'undo' en Here as ek werklik uit my hart uit eerlik moet wees - en tot my skaamte, dat ek nooit die gevolge daarvan moes gedra het nie... al verdien ek dit. Alles en nog meer !

Dra mens dit verewig Here.  Hoe lank is verewig?

Is U al moeg om al my kastaiings uit die vuur uit te krap Here?  Om al die mense wie se lewens ek so omvergegooi en verwoes het, bymekaar te maak en gesond te maak? Sal hulle my kan vergewe Here?  Ooit?

Oeh Here, as ek net daaraan dink, dan wens ek dat ek die klok kon terug draai?  Die seer kan weg vat?
Sal U Here weer 'n keer, ingryp en harte gesond maak.  Help drade optel?  Vader dit is my eerlike begeerte dat al daardie mense, U aanraking sal ervaar, U Helende hand sal voel en kan aangaan, sonder letsels?

Here, asb.
Nog 'n keer.
Weer.

In Jesus se Naam

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Walk with me through fire

Heavenly Father

If one's heart has been broken, over and over again... will it ever heal completely? Or will I always be reminded of the evil by the harsh scars that never seems to mend...

Abba Father help me not to hold on to yesterday, help me not to become bitter, or to take the easy way out... Father I need to let go but I don't know how anymore.

Why has it become so difficult to forget, to forgive?

Today, yet again I need Your healing mercy
Walk with me through this fire
I trust in You Jesus


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Shall we dance?

Do You hear the music in the distance? Lord it is so all-around us, so real, so part of me and You that I cannot help but to fulfill the desire in my heart to just dance with You, again and again!

O my Lord, do You remember our first dance? The memories of that day is forever imprinted in my soul – a beautiful everlasting moment we had… You and I. You pulled me up from where I laid on the floor, buried in my grief. You knew that my crushed spirit needed You so desperately right then. I could hardly breathe... Jesus I will never ever forget the love and tenderness I have experienced in Your arms that day.

I was so overwhelmed by the immensity of Your love for me. I knew then that You would move mountains to protect me!

Together we waltz, following the rhythm of our hearts, the beating of Your healing mercy. I broke down at every turn we took, but You kept on dancing, kept on turning, knowing how much I needed to rid of the hurt that drenched my soul. You held me steady. You held me together. Lord, You never deserted me that day! You kept me close. Safe. I breathed Your Healing...

Looking back on the past 7 years… we have danced a bit, haven’t we Jesus?
I love dancing with You.  I was born to dance with You my Lord. To be in Your immediate presence soothes my soul.

Whenever I needed comfort or protection, we danced! When I wanted You to love me; we danced! When I just wanted to love You, we danced! Oh Lord, we have had so much fun together.

Do You remember the day when You surprised me - in the middle of the traffic – You took me to the dance floor and we showed off our gum-boot moves! Oh Lord, we've laughed so much that day! You have this mind-blowing ability to just make my day!.

Thank you, Abba Father for being so nice to me. More than nice.

Lord, I love it when You romance me. Please Lord don’t ever stop doing it. You fill my heart with such joy and laughter I cannot get enough of it.

I want it. I need it so much. It makes me fall in love with You more and more and more. Is it possible? To fall deeper and deeper in-love with Someone that already holds your heart captive? I think so … because each time I look into Your eyes… I love You more and more. And more. And more.

Signed, Your dance partner...
xxx




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Father I pray




Father it is my prayer today that You open my eyes to the works of the enemy operating in my immediate surroundings. My personal space…. My work my family life my friends and the Ministry You entrusted me with. 
Father show me the people that I must be wary of.  I pray that You will send Your angels to stand their guard against the evil doers the gossipers and the backbiters the mudslingers and slanderers that surrounds me.

I am You beloved child. It is in You that I put my trust. Please guide me in my path shine Your light upon the road that I need to walk on.  And protect me from the evil one. I am really scared Jesus and I need Your Sovereign Protection.

I pray the blood of Your most Beloved Son Jesus upon me; my work my family my friends and the Ministry.

May no harm come to us.  I proclaim in the Name of Jesus that no weapon formed against us shall prosper.

Marriage choices

When it comes to your marriage.... EITHER be happy or be RIGHT the choice is yours.....