And we have known and believed the love that God has in us. God is love, and he who abides in love abides in God, and God in him. In this is our love made perfect, that we may have boldness in the day of judgment, that as He is, so also we are in this world. There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear, because fear has torment. He who fears has not been perfected in love. 1John 4:16-18
The Bible says that God is LOVE... And in the same verse it says that there is no fear in love. They are opposites in the Kingdom. If we are operating in fear we are working for the enemy even if we think we are doing something 'righteous'. This would count especially in cases where we care too much what others think of us - if we are fearing people more than we fear God we are people pleasing. Having respect and love for another person is NOT the same as people pleasing and sometimes when we are immature in love we can mistake the two. We need to learn how to have respect and love for a person yet not allow them to overstep our authority or make us a door mat.
The fear of God is not the same as other fear. The fear of God is a Reverence or Respect or awe for Him and it is LOVE (obedience) to mainly His Voice (being Spirit led) - this will always line up with the Word of God. We are not supposed to point at a page in the Word and say, "I think I will do this today." We should know the voice of God and allow Him to orchestrate EVERYTHING we do and say and are. This will bring a balance into our lives and we will handle situations the way He would - WHY? Because we are only doing what He says When He says to do it.
We have to look at it like this... A soldier in an army waits for his orders. He does not run ahead of the commanding officer just because he thinks he might have the Intel about a certain operation. He waits until the commanding officer gives the command then he becomes a strategic tool in the armies’ arsenal. If all of the troops went off and did what they thought was best there would be no unity and disorder - this brings chaos and strife. ORDER brings PEACE...
Here is the contrast between Love (God) and Fear (the Enemy)...
Love is Kind - Fear is Unkind
Love is Patient, Fear is Impatient
Love is Never Jealous, Fear is Jealous
Love is Never Boastful, Fear is Boastful,
Love is Never Proud, Fear is Proud
Love is Never Rude, Fear is Rude
Love isn't Selfish, Fear is Selfish
Love isn't Quick Tempered, Fear is Quick Tempered
Love doesn't Keep a Record of Wrongs that others do, Fear does Keep a Record of the wrongs that others do
Love Rejoices in the Truth, Fear Rejoices in Evil.
Love is Always Supportive, Fear is Never Supportive
Love is Loyal, Fear is Disloyal
Love is Hopeful, Fear is Hopeless
Love is Trusting, Fear is Distrusting Love Never Fails! Fear Always Fails! 1Co 13:4 -8
Also, here is the fruit of the Spirit - the Spirit and the Flesh (carnal mind - the pride of man) are opposites in the Kingdom... For to be carnally minded is death, but to be spiritually minded is life and peace because the carnal mind is enmity against God (God is Spirit), for it is not subject to the Law of God, neither indeed can it be. So then they who are in the flesh cannot please God. Romans 8:6
Here is the contrast between the Spirit and the Flesh... Here is scripture on it...
I wish that those causing you to doubt will cut themselves off. For, brothers, you were called to LIBERTY. Only DO NOT use the liberty for an opening to the Flesh, but BY LOVE SERVE one another. For all the Law is fulfilled in one word, even in this, "You shall LOVE your neighbour as yourself." But if you bite and devour one another, take heed that you are not consumed by one another. I say, then, Walk in the Spirit and you SHALL NOT fulfil the lusts of the flesh. For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh. And these are contrary to one another; lest whatever you may will, these things you do. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are NOT UNDER LAW. Now the works of the flesh are clearly revealed, which are:
adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lustfulness, idolatry, sorcery, hatreds, fighting’s, jealousies, angers, rivalries, divisions, heresies, envying’s, murders, drunkenness’s, revelling’s, and things like these; of which I tell you before, as I also said before, that they who do such things shall not inherit he kingdom of God.
But the fruit of the Spirit is: Love (flesh is fear), Joy (flesh is sorrow), Peace (flesh is chaos or strife), Long-Suffering (flesh is intolerable), Kindness (flesh is unkind), Goodness (flesh is naughty or bad), Faith (flesh is doubtful), Meekness (flesh is self-important), Self-Control (flesh is confusion or disorder); against such things (of the Spirit) there is no law. But those belonging to Christ have CRUCIFIED
THE FLESH, with its passions and lusts (this is the refiners fire that brings us to a place of maturity - Patience having it's perfect work in us - scripture below). If we LIVE in the Spirit, let us also WALK (this is speaking of what we do) in the Spirit. Let us not become glory-seeking, provoking one another, envying one another. Galatians 5:12-26
This is what brings us to Maturity In Christ...
My brothers, count it all joy when you fall into different kinds of temptations, knowing that the TRYING OF YOUR FAITH WORKS PATIENCE. But LET Patience have its Perfect (mature) work, so that you MAY be Perfect (mature) and entire (whole), lacking nothing (not in poverty in any area - translation - NO FEAR). But if any of you lacks wisdom (or is in poverty where wisdom is concerned), let him ask of God, who gives to ALL liberally and with No reproach, and it SHALL BE given to him.
But let him ask IN FAITH, doubting nothing. For he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, driven by the wind and tossed. For DO NOT LET THAT MAN THINK THAT HE SHALL RECEIVE ANYTHING FROM THE LORD; (It is not that the Lord is withholding anything from us - the problem is that if we Doubt we cannot receive anything - you can even possess something without actually receiving it) he is a double-minded man, not dependable in all his ways. James 1:2-8